Please offer advice with selfish husband and I don't want a divorce???

I really need some serious advice on this topic...I am so frustrated. My husband is 23 %26amp; I am 31. He makes 1/4 of what I make %26amp; has never been on his own or had any responsibility. I have always had to pay for all of the bills, daycare, rent, food, everything %26amp; he has not contributed anything. We have been together 5 years %26amp; yes I have made the big mistake of ';taking care'; of him %26amp; now it's just become a habit. We truthfully have very little money for the essentials %26amp; I explain that to him %26amp; it's like he literally doesn't hear me. I just told him I only have $100 to spare for non-necessity's %26amp; he really wants a dirt bike. He calls me back two minutes later %26amp; says he needs $350 to pay part of it today %26amp; is asking me for it...HELLO did you not just hear me??? He really doesn't get it. I have nothing %26amp; he always wants to buy something not essential %26amp; has NO patience to wait. If I can't come through he pouts and it is a big fight even though he will say he doesn't mind. HELP!!!Please offer advice with selfish husband and I don't want a divorce???
he is so taking advantage of you....what you need to figure out for yourself if what you get out of this relationship is worth all the whiny baby crying every time he doesnt get his own way over extra things that he shouldnt have in the first place. It's time for him to grow up. Write up a list of essentials and then split the cost of everything---who cares if he cant afford it, that is HIS problem---tell him that in order for YOU to feel secure about HIM he is going to need to carry his fair share. Listen I know you dont want to get divorced over this but wow he is so immature and OBVIOUSLY not ready for life to begin and I see no reason and no benefit for you to continue to enable him to do this behavior and I guarantee that he will continue to abuse your relationship this way because you have him beleieving that he is necessary to your life and thus you would never get rid of him no matter how he behaves or what he does/does not contribute to hte household and the longer you let him think that the worse it is going to get to the point where you start to believe that C-rap yourself. I would let the phones get shut off, wait for a disconnect notice for the electric bill, not but any food except to feed the kids, wait for rent to be late and then ask him what is HE going to do about it, after all he is the ';man'; of the house. I don't understand how you are surviving when he is draining all your resources....think about it, how much would you be losing out on...the whiny crybaby crap, the no money issue but what is there being used for stupid stuff....I honestly would ask for a trial seperation and force him to live on his own adn pay his own way---OH that's right he can't AFFORD it, hmmmm, I am curious as to who is going to help YOU out when you get sick or something like that and cant work for a week. I can almost guarantee that if you cut off the money and rent and food supply either he will grow up or find another ';sugar momma'; to take care of his needs, you aint the only one with money(what little you have) and when he cant get from YOU what he wants he will go looking for it, I promise. Anytime someone ';fights'; over not being able to spend money for extras especially when there isnt enough for essentials, isn't going to wait around and listen to NO for very longPlease offer advice with selfish husband and I don't want a divorce???
He isn't going to change. He was 18 and you were 27 when you got together so you have practically raised him. And don't tell me he was mature for his age; he obviously wasn't.





You won't get a divorce and you insist on keeping this husband who is really a boy. Since you won't leave him, and he won't change, you will have to treat him like the spoiled brat he is.





Give him an allowance (an amount equal to what you keep for yourself!!!) and tell him he has to live off of it. And be prepared for the fights.





I may not sound like it but I truly feel bad for you. Best of luck; you are going to need it.





BTW, I would strongly suggest keeping the divorce option in mind; it may grow him up a little.
You don't have a husband, you have a teenager and another child. He is EXTREMEMLY immature and does not seem to have any interest in the well being of your family.


What positive attributes does he have, if any? No one ever wants to get a divorce, but at the same time, why stay in the same struggling marriage when there's no light of positive change in sight?
First of all if you don't want a divorce why did you put this in the singles cat. Anyway, if you seriously don't want a divorce (which I don't condone either) you have to accept the fact that you married a boy and you are the grown up in this relationship. Put your foot down with the finances. He obviously doesn't have a problem with it so take control.
The Doormat Syndrome by Lynne Namka.


Log on to Amazon.com and get the book, read it and you'll know what to do.....