I need advice on dating after divorce...?

Okay, here's the deal. This advice is not for me, it is for my mom. My parents were married 19 years and then divorced. My dad has had no trouble dating and moving on, but my mom can not seem to pull herself into the whole dating scene. She has no self-confidence after the divorce and she does not realize all of the things she has to offer; great personality, sense of humor, looks, etc. The thing is, being her oldest daughter, I have always been like her rock. Now she is coming to me asking what she should do and where she should go to meet men, besides bars. I am only 20 and I have no idea how older people (she is 40) meet and date. Any advice for her?I need advice on dating after divorce...?
Well, im not 40 but im 32 (dont look it) and i will be quite honest with you. I find well taken care of women that are a little older than me extrememly sexy. Not because its something that is forbidden, but becasue they know exactly what they want out of life and know where they have been and want to go, hope that makes sense. This isnt entirely dissimilar to my dads situation a few years back.....well back to 1989 when my mom died. They were soulmates, if not literally, then the closest thing to it. And when i finally got my dad to start dating again and showing him that it wasnt going to hurt me...and that is what mom would actually want for him....he started to feel the love others could give him. ALthough we to this day, both of us, have agreed that things will never be the same. It is/was the best course of action to take for him to heal and start living and loving once again. In a sense....what your sweet mother is going through and has gone through is a death of a relationship and it takes time to heal. If she is open to dating?.....take her to the grocery store and have fun with it...but dont do anything overbearing for her......GO AT HER PACE...she'll come around. Peace to you and your family.I need advice on dating after divorce...?
Have her check into some dating sites. I have met some really nice guys on adult friend finder. Its a great site.
I would try church or karoke. They are the best. Also, the local YMCA in my area does great singles trips. I am in the same position and my mom would up finding someone she lived next to. She moved into an apartment complex. She had lived in the same house for 15 years with all the same neighbors. She met the guy she is married to now 2 months after she moved into the apartment. They had cook outs and socials. It was great for her. Bars are not bad places to meet people. I met my husband at a bar. Just make sure it is not a dive. Higher end bars are great.
match.com
first of all get her tocounseling or a life coach. She needs some assistance getting thru the divorce. Secondly there are some good sites. www.eharmony.com is one of them. Church is also a good place to meet people. she needs to be a little outgoing and not so self concious. she is not going to find much at bars if she is looking for a real man and relationship.
Salsa classes (or any other group/hobby that she may be interested in)





We have singles bars in Oxford that you can organise days out as well as going for a drink. They also go on holidays in a group.
A serious answer would be:


Have her do volunteer work.


If it doesn't get her a bf, it will certainly get her a network ....and the network will lead to a bf.


BTW if the volunteer organization is full of woman, change organizations.
From another older woman's perspective (I'm 52), does she attend church? That's one place. Also, she might try getting involved in some volunteer organizations like Habitat for Humanity, the Red Cross, etc. This would get her out and meeting other people. Remind her that in this day and age it is OK for the woman to ask a man on a date. (Bars are the absolute worst place to meet men!)





Give her self-esteem a boost. Have girls day/weekend. Go to a spa for some pampering, a new hair style, some new clothes. She'll feel like a new woman. If she begins to feel attractive she'll start to have more self-confidence.
There's many ways she can meet someone, but she needs to build her confidence. My suggestion 2 her is ';Just be yourself';. Since you are her ';rock'; you can encourage her more than you think. Do some things with her that you do for youraself - self confidence can be boosted by a change in hair style or clothing. Just have fun, it'll happen.
FORGET Match.com................I met my true love (and I mean MY TRUE LOVE) on Matchmaker.com





We met, instantly fell in love (at the time we were both close to being 40....which, by the way isn't ';older';)and we have been married ever since.





Good luck to your mom! I hope I'm not in her boat some day....19 years of marriage and over. How sad.





Tell her to give Matchmaker.com a try!
u should tell her to make sure she looks her best at all times. u should then suggest that she go to places that interest her(museums, jazz club, poetry club) while lookin her best and be friendly. GOT IT??
First and for most .... with the self concience thing she has you have to help her work through that... your young.. help her dress up even if its going to the store.... help or remind her mom ';why not fix your hair today... or wear something nice...'; she doesn't have to make an effert or go to a bar or any other dateing scene to meet someone she can meet them by walking in the park going shopping etc: However she needs to pamper herself to help her self feel better about herself. there is a saying people love people who love themselves..... so help her do just that, once this is down go buy a book at borders or any other book store even online... about how to get a mans attention or 101 ways to get a man to notice you type books. don't just hand them to her, leave them around where you know she will see them...shell read them beleive me she will. it won't hurt you to read them either.... there was a book I read along time ago and it really helped me get my man... lol I have been married to him now 13 years after the help of the book to get him.. and it still feels like we just ment... lol here are a few books to consider....


http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/det鈥?/a>





http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/det鈥?/a>





http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/det鈥?/a>





http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/det鈥?/a>





This last one is like the one that I had only differance was back then it was 103 ways... lol.... anyway I might have to get that one to update my life lol...
it is never easy to move on after you have been married for such a long time, i was only married for 10, but getting back out on the dating scene has been difficult. I do not like doing any of the things that i did when i was younger, im not a club or bar person anymore. I do have some experience with singly parents online dating sites. have meet a few nice people there and i dont have any horror stories. Sometimes it takes one person longer than another, just keep giving her some time and maybe she will get back out there, from what you have said about her, she certianly seems llike a wonderful woman. and she is lucky to have a daughter that would care about her this much. I know that probably didnt help much, but i would like to wish you and your mother my best
I'm single and 39, just divorced a while back. I can understand where your mother is coming from, it's really tough because it has been so long since I was out in the dating scene.





Give your mom some time to heal, they were married for a really long time. Actually they were married for your entire life, so you could say they were married for a life time.





A person getting swagger back after so long may take time and patience.





And as a side note.... ';older people'; are more like 80 than 40. ;)





After a while she'll be okay, I promise you!
people meet everywhere from online to in the grocery store. the biggest thing she has to do is talk. talk to everyone she meets or doesnt meet. she doesnt realize how much women have advanced in the dating scene since she last had a go around. it probably wouldnt hurt to join a gym or some kind of adult club like kwanis, rotary club, city coucil, or the masonic order. tell her to keep an open mind and not judge men her age for being single, she is new to the 21st century dont let her do it alone either. good luck.
Because your mom is older with set ways and interest I would suggest that she socilize within the circle of those like herself. For example, if she is into the church and wishes to have a spiritual connection with someone, then she should get involved with her church groups. If she has an interest in gardening, she should investigate local nurseries. They sometimes offer Saturday group sessions where people come together to discuss their gardens and flowers. Another good place to look into would be ur local park districts. They often offer various classes; something that may interest her where she may meet her next Mr. Right. Either way make sure u reinforce to her that she is a beautiful woman who deserves to be happy even if it isnt with ur father.
HI HON: MY NAME IS DAVE I AM SINGLE AND 58,DIVORCED FINNAL 2 MO. AGO.I AM NOT SURE MYSELF.BUT IS SURELY NOT BARs THERE LOOSERS.DONT NEED A PARTY DRUNK IN HER LIFE.ME I HAVE A PROGRAM WHERE THE PEOPLE ARE GREAT%26lt;LOVING AND RESPECTFUL ITS CALLED AA.YES I WAS 14 YEARS AGO ,14 YRS SOBER MARCH 26 06.TELL YOUR MOM TO GO TO CHURCH IF SHES INTO THAT STUFF.OR GET DRUNK AND COME INTO AA AND MEET THE BEST.or SHE CAN TALK WITH ME VIA INTERNET,D/W/M Schenectady NY/EMPLOYEED BY THE GENERAL ELECTRIC COMPANY 38 yrs.YOUR A GOOD GIRL STAYING BESIDES YOUR MOM,SHE NEEDS YOU MOSTLY NOW.....sge4me@yahoo.com
Sign her up on Match.com
I think it's great that you are there to support her. My advice? Singles clubs or dances. Meeting decent men in the bar is difficult. If you stick to things like speed dating or singles activities, she'll have a better chance at meeting somebody with her interests and she can choose somebody that is probably of better quality than in the bar
Hmm....are you a christian? Well, if you are and your mother is too, try telling her to meet men at church. The best men are christian, and she could really meet a great guy.
If she is not into the computer dating scene she can try local orginizations like her church or look into your local newspaper. Many times they list places where singles in certain age groups meet. I'm sure that with her personality, sense of humor and looks all she will have to do is be herself and many men will find her attractive and want to see her. She just has to show some confidence in herself. That is the key. Good luck!
tell your mom, she has to raise that self esteem, get a new hair style or buy some new clothes,the better she feels about herself, the more confident she will feel, thus helping her move into the dating scene.take her out morer, it doent have to be a club, just get her moving again.
First of all, she needs to be able to like herself. She does need self-confidence to jump back in the dating scene cuz unfortunately, it's brutal. She needs to do things for herself to make her feel better. As far as meeting guys? Join some kind of class, gym, dating services, through friends
get her a blind date with one of your friends dad's to break the ice for her, or a social club where she can meet men. have a call system in place like my daughter %26amp; i do, if she goes out , make sure its a public meeting place, and her have a call phone with the # programed in so she can put it under the table and hit the dial button, %26amp; hang up, then you call her back screaming that you need help so she can exit quickly if necessary. this works!!!!!!!
Yahoo personals...give her a mini make over. Take her to the mall and have her get a mini-makeover if you dont do makeup. Take her to get a manicure and a pedicure and take pictures...then get online...hook her up with the yahoo personals...I found my 2nd husband there!
I dont want this to sound wrong, but I'd love to be in your shoes...Look, assure your mother that she is a great, beautiful woman. The compliments could go forever. Its hard for a woman to love and let go. Harder than it is for a man but possible. If she drinks, that takes a lot of the pressure and insecurities away for the moment...not talking about getting sloppy drunk...just a couple glasses of wine. But before that start or continue working out until you feel ';great'; go out and see how physically desired you are. Right now, don't take anything seriously. Damn you've been married for 19 years...get out and have fun woman...you only live once! Forget him for at least 30 min. and have fun first then we can work on the healing of the heart. Good luck and God Bless!
well that is a good question because i am going through a divorce right now at the age of 22 but back to you....


i would start by going to dating websites but if she isn't into that then why don't you go and try to find a guy for her. Go to like city organized functions or something like that where there is a wide range of people there as far as age goes


well good luck
Okay, I have never been a huge supporter of online dating, but a few years after my father passed away my mother went through the same dilemma. My sister and I helped her set up and account on match.com...which was actually kind of amusing, and before we knew she had several dates set up. And i have to admit, these were decent men just looking for companionship. Now my mother is since remarried and very happy.