Thursday, July 29, 2010

How can Al-Anon give advice about spouse, when they never meet these people, like divorce etc. ?

My husband says he loves me but, Al-Anon says to him she's a dry drunk ( after 5 years ?) it well come back, better to divorce her now, than later. I don't understand this kind of hurtful and family heartbreaking advice ?How can Al-Anon give advice about spouse, when they never meet these people, like divorce etc. ?
Al-Anon members aren't supposed to give advice! Members aren't allowed to give advice even if that member is your sponsor.How can Al-Anon give advice about spouse, when they never meet these people, like divorce etc. ?
Al-Anon is not in the advice giving business, its a 12 step program for family members of alcoholics to work and discover some truths about themselves. He needs to get as far away from that group as possible, they are sick.
I used to go to Al-Anon when I was married to an alcoholic and they drove me crazy with their opinions and advice. But if your husband is reading the actual literature from Al-Anon, it doesn't give any kind of advice and the members shouldn't be either. They're supposed to be telling him that he can still love and be with you but to detach with love. This boils down to basically stop trying to do anything to change you or the situation surrounding you when you're drinking and to take care of himself. They've been calling you a dry drunk if you're actually an alcoholic that isn't in the program of AA. If you're not in AA, I suggest both of you go in for marriage counseling because the old hens in Al-Anon are giving your husband advice that not they shouldn't be giving. And if your husband was truly working his program, he wouldn't be talking to you about what goes on in the meetings because he's breeching the confidentiality and anonymity aspects of the group so he's just as bad as they are.

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