Divorce is not inevitable if you don't want it to be. I would sit your husband down and have a talk with him. Tell him that you will NOT put up with him spending his time with a female. That is what you are there for. If he isn't getting something from you, then he needs to tell you what is lacking from you and vise versa. If he wants to split up then, go with your gut. He is probably having an affair with her. Maybe not a physical one, but one just the same. I have a feeling that something like that is going on with my husband, but I can't prove it and when I tell him how I feel, things seem to change. For a while. To tell you the truth and I'm talking from experience, I don't know which is worse. A relationship where they meet and do what they are going to do or have a relationship that is emotional.
One thing that I would be asking myself in your place, is why would he want me to come home? Did he do it because he couldn't handle me leaving him and he wants to be the one leaving? Or did/does he still love me and is miserable in the marriage? I don't think anyone can tell you what YOU should do. That has to be up to you. Different people will react and respond differently. I hope you make the right decision for you and your husband.My husband and i have only been married two years and we are on the verge of divorce already. Any Advice?
Very well put
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He begged you to come home and now wants to split up? Why? What do you want?? Do you love him? I have been married 31 years. I think that marriage has its ebb and flow..Good and bad. Can you ever trust him again? It takes a while to get trust back. If you think the marriage is worth saving... try counseling. It works and even if the marriage is not salvaged. You will be a better person for it.
I've been there and I feel for you. You know, men like that really don't change. They are very ';wishy washy'; when it comes to how they feel. Sometimes they want you, and other times they don't. He may have been feeling guilty after he cheated and that is why he wanted you home. But now he knows that you want him and you want the relationship to work, and again, he doesn't. YOU need to be the strong one here because he is going to keep doing this to you over and over.
My ex-husband and I had the same problem. I knew he cheated, but I didn't want our relationship to end. I kept trying to keep him and kept trying to make it work. But all he ever did was say he didn't want to. Well, when I finally decided that I was tired of trying to make it work, and made the decision that I WAS DONE, there he was...trying to get ME back. See what I mean? They know you aren't going anywhere, so they treat you like crap, but be strong, YOU make the decision, don't let him be in control.
You don't need him to make you happy.
Believe me, there is someone out there that is perfect for you and if you are having trouble in your relationship, then this marriage and this man may not be part of your life's plan. Good Luck and I hope you make the right decision. =)
Perhaps, but if their is a chance, you should get marriage counseling. If your husband truly loves you, he will go for the marriage counseling too. But it sounds like this is kind of deep in. It could be inevitable. Find something else to focus on, so your emotions won't overtake you completely. I'm so sorry to hear this, hope I could be of some help.
I would say that you should work on communication and maybe see some counseling. I would say if you don't think you could work through it then do everything you can to try but if he is not willing to work with you then its over because you can't have a one sided relationship or one person trying only.
Counseling... please go together. the early stages of marriage are NOT easy... and you need to work together to get through it. But please consider counseling - don't throw in the towel just yet!
It's time to move on. There is no point in trying to save the marriage if he does not want to. Besides, he betrayed you once, he will probably do it again.
COUNSELING!!!
Have a heart-to-heart with your hubby- You both need to know how the other really feels. I understand your suspicion in regards to his co-worker! He needs to be aware of that. Tell him that you love him, that you want to have a happy marriage, that you are unsure about his fidelity.
Ask him how he feels- about you, your (plural)future, etc.
I'd still enourage counseling. Be honest (and gentle) with each other, be honest with the counselor.
Well..I think you and hubby need to have a real good talk, try to recall the reasons you got married in the first place and find out what each of you need from the relationship now. Do everything you can to make sure you are trying everyday to put your marriage first. He will have to do the same. Suggest counseling. You will both have to openly communicate with each other. You can get through it if you both try. I would definitely say he needs to cut all personal ties with his coworker.
Sorry, but that marriage is in the shitter.
Do not try and make it work because it will happen again. I hate to say that you need to count it as a loss. My dad did this to my mom too many times. It never stops. They do not change.
Hun its gonna hurt but honestly, you deserve better than what your getting. i know you think'; but this was the one...my dreams and hope were invested in him...';but he doesn't feel the same if he cant respect you as a wife and be faithful and truthful . sorry you've been treated poorly lied to and hurt good luck there's better out there just think the whole happy new butterfly feeling when your healed and start a new relationship guard your heart though and next time use mostly your head not your heart. good luck
Well the good part is, it has only been 2 years (its still not that long), the bad part is, the marriage seems like it should end. If he wants you to split up, then its a sign that he probably does have feelings for his co-worker. You need to split up because this relationship doesnt seem like its going to work out. Just remember to keep your head up. Everything that happens is meant to be. All breakups are hard to deal with, but its even harder to deal with a cheater. Sorry and good luck.
Unfortunately it sound's like it's over. u can't have a relationship by yourself. if he doesn't want to be with u there's not much u can do. i think he did sleep with her though. i don't see a guy leaving an established situation to go into the unknown. he probably won't admit it so he can walk away without lookin like a liar.
you both should go and talk to someone, a marriage counsler or maybe your minister..........dont give up girl...........he cant have both,
if u feel that you r not able to save your marriage come out of it as soon as possible.before it is too late.u have a whole life ahead of u. i do hope that u have a good job or u r financially secure.if u don't have kids there is no problem.there is no meaning in staying together when there is no trust, love or belonging.he might have stopped seeing her but u have lost trust in him.he can cheat u again.but before going for separation see that u r financially sound. don't depend on your parents or siblings.start a new life.
I would not wait too much longer - good luck
it is better to know now that you won't work out rather than years later with children being affected
Drop your ego if you have any and ask him what does he want,try to impress him that you love him and want to be with him all the time.You have also to show him this by your deeds.may be you may win him for ever.
You need to sit down and discuss where you want to be. No name calling and no recriminations. You need to make lists of what is important and not so important to both of you together and as individuals. If you feel after this is all done and still are considering a separation, try one more time with counseling. Together and as individuals. There are any number of places to ask for assistance. Sounds like both of you are very confused about what you want. This friend needs to be eliminated from your circle of life. If she was truly a friend to you both this wouldn't have happened.
Good luck to you and I hope it all works out to both of your best interests.
he cheated with her and now he is fealing gulty leave him
it always seems to be that the grass is greener on the other side. he will find out eventually that the expression is just that, an expression! he is looking for the easy way out. to bad for him! let him go a later bask in his regret he will come upon later, although it will take time. be patient grass hopper. you will find to be happier i believe. the right one (or ones) is still out there for you. enjoy exploring the world again!
Wow! Difficult! This is your hearts call
I think he is boning her and hes confused. He thought he wanted you back, but decided she is the way to go. I think you should just leave now while you can. Before it gets any nastier!!
Get a divorce and move on. There's someone else out there for you. If this has happened once, it will happen again. It means he doesn't truly love you and has no respect for you. Sorry.
the thrill is gone! by BB.King
If you are both Christians, or at least spiritual, pray, pray, and pray some more. Talk to your pastor together. Obviously there were some things that happened to take the respect out of the marriage. In my opinion, that is what cheating is, a lack of respect. He didn't respect your feelings, your marriage, or you as a person. I'll be praying for you guys. Just remember, divorce should only be your last resort!
Well for you guys to move forward you have to work on building trust again...communcation too. If you can't commit to working on those things it will not work ever.
First thing to do: sit together eye-to-eye and speak about what he likes about you, what not, how seductive he finds you, if you are attractive, if he'd like to see you with a different hair-cut or dress, etc.
Basically, try to know what he found attractive at the other woman, and see if you're worth more to him. If not, quit, because he probably won't be more honest and fair in future, and would always have secrets.
Before you've got any kid with him, you must make your decision. It might be better to give yourself at least a year to think or quit meanwhile...
Good luck!
Forget your husband, leave him! I know its hard but thats not cool that he was spending all his time with some other girl, you are not in competition and you dont have time for that. At one point you were strong to leave him so you have to be strong again and leave him for good. Theres a sayin that ';they always come back'; and they always come back because they know they are wrong and they feel bad and when that happens you can just tell him f off! Forget what he did to do, you are much better then that!
it over move on
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