I need advice....going through a divorce and wondering if my feelings are normal?? Divorced/seperated ppl only?

My husband and I have been seperated off and on for almost 2 years. We are now going through the divorce process and I moved out completely in Feb of 2009. Obviously people of divorce/seperation going though many emotions. Some days are great, some days are bad....some are really sad! So, I have this strange urge to try and work things out again.....we have tried so many times and failed...and I don't know why I want to even try...we do have 2 children. There was cheating involved, he cheated on me. I forgave, that was the littlest of our problems. We started at 15 dating had our first child by 17, married at 21and second child at 22. We definately grew apart and for the first 2 years of our marriage, I was the only one working at the marriage, he was too busy going hunting, getting wastedwith his buddies, and being gone pretty much every weekend. He never wanted to talk, so our problems just kept bottling and bottling. We started seeing a counselor, which he was no help in. He didn't really talk much or let his feelings out. I then asked him to move out and we contuinally tried to work things out, started seeing a counselor again. Things went bad cause he still wasn't working with me, he then changed and we got back together for 6 months and things just went flat. I love him a lot and I am just at a loss to know what to do next. I was doing really good for months and now all of a sudden, I am just confused and scared...so I guess that's my real question. Am I fearful of my future and fearful of having to move on and start all over? Or am I really wanting to be with him and make it work?





Any advice would be great!!I need advice....going through a divorce and wondering if my feelings are normal?? Divorced/seperated ppl only?
Of course with 2 kids and such a history you desire it to work. you are normal and right to be fearful of the future also. Mom's get the responsibility and Dad's get there freedom. Emotionally you are going through heck I am sure. I pray that you have a good support system in your parents, friends, and church. You will need them to be there for you sometimes just as an ear or a prayer. It hard to start over, but you can because you are a strong woman. I know you are because you were willing to forgive him once, and that is so hard. Just do your very best and live day to day for now. Time will help heal. Trust me, there are men out there who are not cheaters that will love you the way you deserve. Best of luck! Let us know how you are. E-mail me if you like.I need advice....going through a divorce and wondering if my feelings are normal?? Divorced/seperated ppl only?
Going through a divorce is just like having a death in the family. You have to work through those feelings of hurt and anger in order to move on.
I think you are experiencing normal regret and anxiety. I think you believe you are doing the right thing but occasionally you have a lingering doubt or two. You've done your best to make this marriage work and it just simply didn't. It is scary to be on your own with children but you'll do okay in the end. You'll get child support. You'll find a job and make a new life. Your emotions will even out in time. Be patient with yourself. Take care of the children.
Simply, it isn't at all about him. It is about you and the children. You must think about what's best for them, and he isn't part of that plan.





He is what he is, realize that. His problems and lifestyle are his, don't let them become yours. You need to put your effort and time into raising two incredible kids and taking care of their mother. Let someone else worry about him.





Start a life that doesn't include him. You and the children will be so much happier.
You are fearful......it is fear of the unknown. What does life hold for you if you move on and divorce. You didn't say, does he want a divorce too. Another suggestion which took my many years to figure out.....are you religious, do you go to church? Life is so much better, I'm so much happier.

concealer