Anyone live with spouse while planning divorce? Got any advice?

Both my husband and I want a divorce, We haven't been happy for over a year and I've tried counseling, books, crying and after a week long separate vacations I told him I wanted to go ahead, but neither of us can afford to set up house somewhere else. It's my parents house I inherited, but the payments will run me over $2,000 a month - I won't have much left to eat with or pay my utilities. We have credit card debt so we agreed to stay in my house, him pay me rent (he doesn't make as much as I do) and move into another room. Right now he is staying in the rv parked in the driveway - we'll be selling that. Guess my question is: Has anyone else had to ';live'; (hard to call this living) with their soon to be ex. due to finances?. And if so please give me any advice. This is really hard. I know I don't want to be his wife anymore, but it really hurts to know that he didn't want to work at our marriage and is just now barely functioning.Anyone live with spouse while planning divorce? Got any advice?
Just about any divorcing couple has to figure out a way to live separately, and financial side is a huge issue for many.





I suggest that eventually, sooner rather than later, you find a way to live separately. Do you have another room you could rent out? Advertise it. Ask him in the mean time to look for another place/room to rent. Another possibility is to rent out your house entirely to a different family and rent 2 smaller places - one for you and one for your husband.


It's great that you're reasonably frienly with each other. I hope he understands that it's not healthy to keep staying in the same house. Imagine what's gonna happen if you were to meet someone 1 year from now, and your ex still lived with you. It would cause hard feelings for him and weird reaction from a new guy.


My ex's parents divorced when he was 7 but they still live together. It's really bad cause they bicker every now and then and constantly blame each other for not paying the bills. It's like they never really divorced, and the shade of their bad marriage is still looming over themAnyone live with spouse while planning divorce? Got any advice?
I have known of people in similar situations that simply renovated the existing house into two entirely separate suites and each moved into one of them. They found they did have to make sure they didn't fall into the trap of watching each others comings and goings but if your split was mutual, then this probably wouldn't be a problem after a while. Renovate in such a way that the two entrances are at opposite ends of the house and to afford maximum privacy.
It sounds like your disagreements are really small and stupid.





No abuse, no cheating.





Try remember what it was that attracted you to him,


Remember those


And don't forget about





Then sit down with him and try to talk with him





You both need each-other, besides financially,


you need eachother to learn how to mature and grow





I wish you the ability to open your heart and the wisedom to speak clearly, and the ability to hear / understand
when me and my ex were separating...we pretty much lived in separate rooms and worked around each others schedule.





there was no animosity, but just the fact it was all ending was pretty painful especially when we say each other.





sorry for your pains...been know..know exactly how you feel. It's like a sad ending to a novel or something.
He has to find a way to pay his end of the credit card debt. If he moves out, he will have to - even if you can possibly consolidate. You can then take on a renter to share your home, which will be extra income for you. You will be miserable living with your ex.
Just keep it sane and rational....be civil and polite.


How you do that is up to you....but I highly recommend it.





Try to think of eachother as friends......


It can be done...trust me.





Forgive and get over it.


Do everything in your power to refrain from reminding eachother of the screwups.


It's over..let it be over.
Oh yes. I've done it %26amp; so have my parents. It all depends on how respectful you are to each other. I was not married but I did have to live with my boyfriend for 2 months because of financial reasons after a breakup. It was hands down the most miserable time of my entire life. Lines were crossed constantly %26amp; I felt trapped but it was still workable because I wasn't in fear or anything.





My parents divorce was much worse %26amp; I ended up having to remove my mom from the home because I was in serious fear for her.





I'm getting married next week %26amp; I feel that if we had to break up right now we could still live together %26amp; move on with some respect for each other. We almost broke up a while ago over an issue that is now resolved but we never disrespected the other %26amp; decided that we would help each other get through it.





So it all depends on how you are as a couple. At the very best it is uncomfortable but if neither of you are a threat to the other then I would say you're just doing what you have to do %26amp; it will be over someday so you can both move forward.
have u heard of 4 rent sign or sec 8 rental and u move to a smaller unit beneath ur means like broke livingg and get into a cc program to help i left a 5000 a month hotel livin hot plate eating out it took me yr i didn't have to deal with free loader who getting a thrill off of me i did what i had to do to be happy he s happy looking at u being miserable get ready to do it alone i done it and happy it took me a year i done it and so can u hold that head up and say i am strong
I think other people have done that before. But i think you guy might still have something there that your not seeing evidently you guys still don't hate each other and you guy must talk to each other i know bills can cause a lot of problems and a lot of stress in a relationship . Because if you guy couldn't stand each other one of you would be out in the street right now .I'm going to give you a web sight that help me in a time of need. Good luck on your decision
im almost in the same situation and tried the living situation, ddnt work however i am not to the point of divorce, just want to extend that little vacation(more like a year lease in an apartment). i guess it depends on you and your spouse,if you still care, living together will make you miserable because you dont want to necessarily know his business( he will be dating!). you may as well not divorce, as far as your finances i need help myself?
Yes I did for 2 months.We were just amicable no real talking.We split the stuff we could,like money in bank,assets beside the house and I paid all the bills and he paid me 70 dollars per week (this was 10 yrs ago).Then he left,I kept the house and he kept the shares etc.It was hard but it was me who ended it and I had no feelings good or bad about him,he did'nt really effect me.Uncomfortable -yes.I slept in one of the boys room's.good luck it will be over soon.