I'm getting divorced after 21 years, and have never lived on my own. Any advice?

My pregnant 16 yr old daughter will be moving with me. I have never taken care of any of the financial aspects in our marriage, nor have i ever lived on my own. I am looking for advice on what i need to prepare myself for, and how to start or even develop a budget. Will my x-husband have to pay child support for our daughter as well?


Any help is greatly appreciated.I'm getting divorced after 21 years, and have never lived on my own. Any advice?
So sorry that you have to go through this after 21 years, but do not waster any more time by looking BACK at what you had, which must not have been much. Yes, your x should pay for your 16 year old daughter, but YOU need to get a job and then you will have some respect for yourself. You need to get help if you have no skills to get a job, and social services and your lawyer will be able to give you some help in finding places that will train you for work. You are not too old to begin a career in some hospital or patient care employment, try, try to get skills so that you have a decent paycheck coming in. Make sure that your daughter knows that you will have to work harder to keep her with you, and you need her help around the house. Good luck and have courage, you will need it to go on, but you will find that you CAN make it without the bum that you have been living with. God bless.I'm getting divorced after 21 years, and have never lived on my own. Any advice?
I was in the same boat as you - same age- same years married. only difference is I always did the bills.


what I do is sort out what bills will be paid on what pay check day. and I always try to put alittle into savings for those unexpected emergencies - even if it is only $20 a month. Yes, you can get child support - she's 16- and unmarried. also, don't sign off on the tax exempt for her - keep that and don't give it to you husband. also, as far as child support goes- don't have that money that you depend on - because there might be times that you don't get it. Make sure he has to pay some of the out of pocket expenses for your daughter- and also, whoever has insurance on the child should continue to have insurance on her.


have your daughter sign up for WIC today - they will give you milk/cheese etc and once the baby arrives - you will get formula for the baby - BIG SAVINGS. and when your daughter has her baby - have her apply for child support from the father to make her life easier too -
There's help out there. I was married for almost 11 and kicked his butt out and he took every dime. We had 10 year old at the time. There's help for her too. State funded programs. Medicaid, WIC ( Women Infant Children) can make sure her and the baby are taken care of if they need it. As for child support, the lawyer and the state decide that. Im not sure since she's pregnant. You can do it if you just put your mind to it. It gets easier with time. Trust me.
All the power to you. You will have a lot on your plate and it wont be easy at first. Talk to some of your friends and get some input there. Do you work now? If you havent for awhile, Id say your soon to be ex will need to be paying alimony for at least part of the time you were married. Have you gotten legal advice?


Yes, your ex should be helping out and paying for your daughter in some way. again, ask your attorney or someone you know that has been through it.





My ideas:


1) have a checking acct


2) savings acct too


3) buy an accounting ledger book to list out your bills and finances. makes it easier to track all your bills


4) make sure you deposit a little bit at least into savings every mo no matter how painful it feels to let go of your money.


5) have your job take a small amt of money from your paycheck and automatically deposit it in your savings account.


talk to your county welfare dept for advice including the local clinic or planned parenthood for your daughter. they will have resources and connections to help you along.


good luck!
why you want to do this. it is really really bad. you people are doing a very very big mistake. never ever do this. please try to STOP it. you both are going to cry. plesae,please,i beg you to stop this and live together. your daughter is going to suffer. you are leading a nice life. you are the best example to the new people and world. dont ever do this. please live together for the glory of GOD. you just thik of your lovely daughter and live together. why you putting her in the highy way that people run up and down vehicle. God bless you to think and to live together. Pray that you may think again and live together for the sake of GOd and for your daughter.
After 21 years in a marriage you should have learned certain values and you never lose independence...it's always with you it just goes dormant.





All you have to do is wipe the dust off and crank it up and walk with one foot in front of the other and say hello to world with confidence and don't look back.





Your best days are ahead of you.
after 21 years? life sucks.....