Any divorced people out there? I need your advice please!!!!?

I was married to my ex-husband for 13 years and have a 5 year-old child. Our marriage was rocky, to say the least. Last October, I finally couldn't stand it anymore and I told him I wanted to get a divorce.





He says he still loves me and keeps repeating that even though he was a complete jerk to me in the past. So, NOW he loves me...





The problem is that I still don't have a full time job to support myself and my son and my ex keeps threatening me. He says that he has been too ';nice'; to me and that maybe he should start by getting my credit cards (which I never use) and by cancelling the Internet (which he doesn't know how to use).





He wants the house and wants me and my son out. It's like, if I can't love him, so I might as well be out.





What do you think? Is he acting fairly? Am I wrong to want to stay in this house until I can properly provide for my son? Something that I hope will be soon?





I need your advice, please!!!!!!Any divorced people out there? I need your advice please!!!!?
If you live in the house with your 5-yo, you should be able to stay there until such time that you can find a more affordable place for the two of you. In addition, b/c your family live in the house together %26amp; you are married, you have a right to 1/2 of the profit from the sale of the house. It doesn't even matter if his name is the only one on the deed. It is considered marital property. Even if he owned the house before you married, if you lived there for 13 years as a married couple, you are entitled to however much $ value it appreciated in those 13 years.





Sounds like he is trying to control you %26amp; bully you into staying - that's emotional abuse. If you haven't worked full-time b/c you are home caring for your child, he will have to pay spousal support and child support. Spousal support is generally a limited period of time, usually until you think you will be able to get back on your feet financially. Child support continues until your child is 18 or done with college.





I divorced when my son was 2 (he's 16 now %26amp; I'm remarried), and I only worked part-time at the time of my divorce. I was able to stay in the marital home for a while %26amp; I received spousal support for a limited time (it was about 9 months in our case) until I could get on my feet %26amp; had a full-time job %26amp; smaller place for myself and my son to live.





I wish you all the best, good luck to you and your child.Any divorced people out there? I need your advice please!!!!?
Consult an attorney. Sounds like he's become vengeful b/c he's not getting his way. Do you have family near by %26amp; do they help. You're going to need all the resources you can find.


The only way you're going to get the house %26amp; support is to fight for it with the help of an attorney.
Your husband sounds very controlling. I dont know what to tell you except to divorce him, sue for half, and file for child support. Maybe the judge will order him to sell the house and give you half--which is enough money to get back on your feet. The child support should help also. Until then, maybe you can move in with relatives--but you definiley need to get a plan to get a job to support yourself.
I divorced after 25 yrs.People grow apart.


Okay, you have to become independent. You can and will not depend on him.


Oh yeah,he says he still loves you.You know that's BS.He doesn't want you to be in control.You are saying you are leaving? How dare you .He decides who is going where and when.


You have a child Don't let that stop you There are millions of single moms, some with 3-4-5 kids who had the guts to say I am who I am, I don't need you,I don't need your abuse I am not codependent.I love and will find someone who wants to blend his and my love ,one love shared.


Don't sweat .There is someone out there who will love you forever
starting over is not easy... but he is becoming a ';monster'; ... you have to get out of there, threatning you isn't cool or fair nothing in your statement is fair. He is hurting so he is trying to get even. Leave the house- don't procrastinate or you and your kid may end up broken and hurting. Take care of your self and seek for family, friends or community to help you out. Start now.
Stop wasting time on yahoo answers,, start looking for a job,, check out craigslist.com they have alot of good jobs,, check out houses or apartments,,on-line while you still have the internet,,, and depending on where you live,, hopefully you will get spousal support,, we dont get it here in our state,, no matter the length of marriage,,, only child support for 18 and under.





My husband acts the same way when I suggest divorce,,, we fight alot to,,, but I just stay ,,, because I know I cant make it on my own.





Best of Luck, I feel for you.
begin by draining the accounts while you have access.
Keep to your guns Girl! Keep looking for a job everyday, let him take the credit cards and pay for them. The Internet is a little iffy if you aren't paying for it and he is. After you find the job, file for divorce, temporary custody of your son and support and the right to live in the house/apt until the divorce is final and any other bills you can get him to pay in the mean time. Just don't let on to anyone that you are doing this because he will find out through the grapevine if you do. Good Luck. MOVE ON and get over a bad relationship.
Hes angry and in the denial stage. Now he is just getting more angry and cant control how you feel. So the next best thing is trying to control the home life. I would get out and fast because things will just get worse. Live with family go apply for assistance anything you have to.Good luck
Well for one thing if your not working and he is he will have to provie for you along with paying child support and no judge would make you and your son move out of the house you can ask for the house through the divorce along with alimony and child support. Been there done that.
OMG.. he soooo can't do that.. Call an attorney asap! File a legal separation so that any debts he might incur will be his only... TRUST ME.. I've been thru this!!!!! Good Luck.
is the house in both of your names? or is it just in his? if it was his origionally, unfortunately he has all rights....
Go see a family law attorney right away. He will want a retainer so I hope you have or have access to some money. Regardless your husband can't kick you out of the house, in fact you are much more likely to do it to him.





Yes he can cancel credit cards and Internet (since they are guaranteed by a credit card), in fact he really should. However you can get a temporary support order and start getting payments from him right away, the lawyer can fix that.





Don't worry these things happen all the time, just see the lawyer right away!
i think he sounds dangerous and you need to take your boy and run. Your ex sounds very much like my best friend's ex- always threatening her and tells her he's too good to her


I have lost contact with her, and can only pray she and the kids are ok.


Seriously- run!
Start saving your money..


Start drawing cash on your credit cards %26amp; saving the cash..


Your husband will have to pay child support..


Start looking for a job and another man..
Your history is not to clear...are you already divorced? Is the child his child? Did you acquire the house together?


Don't let him intimidate you.


File an order to show cause and try to get the house along with child support and alimony.


Sounds like he's trying to scare you into staying with him, unfortunate for him Courts usually rule in the Mothers favor. They are reluctant to toss children out on the street. If you don't have the money look into legal aid they should be able to help you out.
sweetie, tell him you are so sorry. you made the worst mistake ever %26amp; u dont know what you would do without him. then give him some love while trying not to vomit. start saving your money and looking for a full time job so you can support yourself and your child on your own.It will also give you the time to see if he really has changed. DO NOT stay with a man because of kids or money. my mom did. children are smarter than you think. my mom stayed with my dad for us. i heard the screaming and the slaps. when she cried herself to sleep i did to. i still have panic attacks and a nervous stomach.
sounds as if he is going to hold u hostage, because he is the breadwinner. if the home is not in your name also, he can make u leave, are u ready to go, if not u may have to swallow your pride and be nice until u get a plan or some money. of course he isn't fair, but he thinks your not fair either. best to contact an attorney to see what rights u have.
Get a lawyer, and a restraining order. It sounds like you have not actually filed for divorce, (correct me if I am wrong) that has to happen. The judge will decide who lives in that house, or if it gets sold.
Hello fellow ';divorcee'; - I'm in middle of divorce and will share what I've learned so far. Here in California at least I understand that any marriage lasting 10 yrs. + is considered a ';long term'; marriage. The length of the marriage does matter to judges and courts and they keep this in mind regarding spousal and child support. Your X seems to be in denial and seems to be trying to intimidate you in order to get what he wants. He doesn't get to make all the calls and decisions---the court WILL consider each parties' situation. Keep the faith! Good LUCK! God knows what you are going through isn't easy. Keep doing your best to better yourself - for your own good and your child's. I shall take my own advice and end this on that note.
He sounds like an abusive JERK!


No judge in their right mind would force you and your son out of your home...you will probably get it in the divorce, and he knows if you leave, he can scream abandonment and keep hte house!!! Talk to a lawyer at once to prevent him from stopping your credit cards, and freezing your joint bank account. You may want to get some cash advances from your credit cards and hide the money in a safe place in case he becomes a real jerk and decides to cut off all funding to the two of you!!


HE is responsible for your support until the divorce is final, and then you will be given an alimony and child support settlement. The alimony depends on the state you live in, his income, and your lifestyle prior to divorce!! It will help you get an education or carry you over until you start getting paychecks. good luck
Have you divorced yet? If not check social services about getting some help from a lawyer and find out what your rights are about the house. He should have to let you stay there with taking care of the child. Best of luck.
Get to a lawyer quick! You can get the house because you have the child and you can get spousal support and child support but you won't get anything if you don't go to a lawyer. Please do so, I wish I had when I got divorced!
I suggest you consult a lawyer. IF he is paying for the internet then yes he CAN cancel it. IF the credit cards are joint (both you and he have the same account) then YES he can take them away. As far as the house, it is a marital asset and will be decided in court. As will the bank accounts etc. But you need to see a lawyer first.
Okay, first of all...why are you still living with him if you are divorced? It's hard to stand on your own if you aren't standing on your own. Get a full-time job or two part-time jobs if you need to. You may have to lower your standard of living to be on your own. If you need to be with him for financial reasons then work on your relationship and build a life together. If not then you need to move out so that he can get on with his life and you can learn to be independent.


I can't imagine living with your ex-spouse. I had a hard time living with my ex-husband for the year we were going through the divorce that he wanted and initiated. Just being in the house at the same time as him broke my heart and tore me up.


It is not healthy for any of you to be living in this type of situation. As I heard someone once say, ';Tinkle or get off the potty.'; Make up your mind to stay or move out. But I sure wouldn't be bad mouthing him if he's willing to pay the bills and let you stay after you divorced him. Not many guys are that understanding.
That house is just as much yours and your sons as it is his If he wont's his kid out then he is a jerk if i ever seen one . He cant just put a kid out on the street if he starts anything call the cops and have him put out and get a piece bond get on assistance and make the jerk pay child support they will arrange that for you.
that is ABUSE. he cannot do any of that. i would start a log on him. call a lawyer or a free legal service and get some free legal advice. but DO NOT let him see that log. and DO NOT give him your credit cards, unless they are in his name. he's angry because he can't control you and your son anymore. stand up for your son and yourself. with holding funds from you and your son is still abuse. if need be get a restraining order on him. but only if it has to come to that point. if he puts you down, that is abuse too. he sounds like my dumb *** soon to be ex. only i didn't have a choice. he sent my son and i to a state where i had never lived and knew one person. and she is his best friend and a pyscho. and controlling as he is. cover your ***. and good luck.
You need to get a lawyer, and file for divorce. Go get a temporary order that sets out that you have the house, custody of the child and child support until the courts decide how things are to be properly divided. That will at least buy you some time to get your own stuff in order, where you're safe from him. If he keeps threatening and harassing you, tell him to leave you alone, it's over and if he doesn't you'll get a restraining order, and then do it. You need to feel safe, and be able to do what's right for you without worrying about what he's going to do to you if you don't do what he wants.
I felt the same way, except dogs instead of kids. If we weren't going to be married anymore, I wanted her out. I think I would have felt differently if kids were involved, though.