My friend is thinking of divorcing her husband. She's come to me for advice. What do i tell her?

My friend has been married to this guy for 5 years. She told me a few months back that she's been unhappy with him for a few years %26amp; she's growing apart from him. She no longer sees him as the guy she married. What I see is, she's growing apart because he's not growing at all. He's become dependent on her %26amp; is content with living like he's 21 years old. They're both in their mid 20s now %26amp; I feel it was dumb to get married so young as the times have changed. I hang out with them from time to time %26amp; I wonder why they are together. They are obviously wrong for each other. Her coworkers see it as well. They were good friends before they got married, but they should have kept it at that. He loves her very much %26amp; she is his world %26amp; while she loves him, it's just too late. I'm all for working things out, especially when it's a marriage, but when I see that they aren't meant to be, I don't want to see them both unhappy when they could be happier with someone else. What do I say?My friend is thinking of divorcing her husband. She's come to me for advice. What do i tell her?
there is not much to say, that wont affect her decision, sometimes you just have to be there for someone, and comfort them thru the hard times, cuz if you say something like things wont change, then when and if they do, she will not want to talk to you for being negative, OR if you say something like, things will change, than if they DONT and it gets worse, she will thing that you are just saying things to shut her up, take it froma women who people try to give advice for all the time sometimes you just want to have someone to talk to with little opnion,My friend is thinking of divorcing her husband. She's come to me for advice. What do i tell her?
STAY OUT OF IT.





You can be there to listen, but IMO, tell her she has to do what she feels is best for her and you cannot tell her to stay or divorce her husband.





If she is really unhappy then she will make that decision to divorce her husband on her own.
Just tell her it is her life and she needs to make the decision.





It is not your place to give advice. If she takes it and is then unhappy, she can blame you. Put it right back on her plate where it belongs.
Tell her if she is unhappy to get a divorce and move on with her life.
I think you have the basic right idea here, and very good intentions. She is lucky to have a friend like you. But don't tell her anything about being obviously wrong for one another and all that. That is completely subjective, and is just begging for trouble later. The smart thing to do is to recommend that she seek out marriage counseling first. Professional help is the best help. If that doesn't work out, then by all means! Get the divorce. But ultimately it is HER decision. YOU can't do a damned thing here besides listen and be supportive of her regardless of what decision she makes. That is what friends do. In other words, aside of maybe recommending that she get some professional help and to suggest she make her own decisions based on her own feelings, the smartest thing you can do is to stay out of it.
';...I don't want to see them both unhappy when they could be happier with someone else. What do I say?...';


If you see yourself as one of those ';someone else'; that she could be happy with, keep your mouth shut and your opinions to yourself, because anything you can say will be tainted by what you want for yourself. If she were to find that your ';advice'; was biased, she may well blame you if she comes to regret her decision at a later time.


If you are a good friend and nothing more, advise her to get a professional, unbiased counselor to see if there is anything there worth saving, or if they would be better off apart. That way you are there for them in friendship, but don't determine what happens either way.
You tell her nothing,you just listen to her and tell her you will support her in any decision she makes.Never go between a husband and wife.Example If you tell her she should leave him,and they end up together.They always side together,and they might have bad feeling for you.If you tell her to stay,and she's miserable,then that is your fault too.Say nothing,just be there for her.She will work it out.

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