Divorcing a marine, I am so lost and confused now! Advice Please!?

My husband I lasted 6 months after being married. I married him in NC and after those six months he became violent with me so I left him and came back to CA and I can start the divorce next month. I tried my hardest to make things work. He is a marine so I know his job is stessful but I had asked him several times to go to counseling when I was out there but he refused. It was around Valentines I finally decided to give up because I still sent him a gift and a card and I didn't even get a phone call. Time went by and I found out that sometime right after I left NC he had already been talking to some new girl, but I realized the whole time I was trying to make things work he had her. I was so sure of the divorce and he's all about the money and lies, that with the divorce coming up he even tried to bribe me to stay with him, there was a catch. As the date gets closer I'm finding it harder to get this done, like the reality is hitting me a lot more now. Despite everything, I miss him!Divorcing a marine, I am so lost and confused now! Advice Please!?
Contact his commander. The military takes a VERY DIM view of domestic violence now. If he hits you he'll be sent for counseling and up on charges in a heartbeat. Do it NOW. Protect yourself.





Contact the local base hospital where you are at and they will help you.Divorcing a marine, I am so lost and confused now! Advice Please!?
Let him go. If he's violent, statistically he will not change unless he does a 180 and gets help for it, which it doesn't sound like he wants to do.





On a side note, the majority of women that I've known that were married to marines were physically or verbally abused...I wonder why that is?
Keep going - you know what you're doing and you're right. It would be best to cut off all communication with him. If he wants to talk, he can go through the lawyers. There's no reason at all you should stay.
Hey girl...You should have emailed me...I did not know you were having a rough time with all of this. I know you miss him, but as morbid as it may sound you should just leave him be. Remember the pain he put you through and just be thankful for the friends, family, and good job that you do have. I will always be here for you if you need me. I am just an email away. You can always get in touch with me if you so choose. We have had some wonderful conversations and I think that you are one spectacular person. You have intrigued my interest and believe me you have got me thinking about myself and what I want to do when I come home. I hope that you can be a part of my welcome home. I would like you to be and if you so choose I would be delighted to come and take you out and show you a good time like you deserve. I am not saying this haphazardly or out of the blue, I have given this much thought (you much thought), and I would love to treat you like you deserve. Shoot me an email if you would like to chat...It gets easier cutie and remember to keep smiling! Life is precious and so are you.
talk to people who are in your in your position
Get a job.
I dont understand your delimma...he's already moved on. SO now you need to move forward
Don't blame yourself. Feel good about yourself that unlike so many other women, you have enough self esteem to save yourself. Good job. It will hurt, but you have to see your way past it. You can love the memory of who he was without stopping you from being who you are destined to be.
Why live with someone who is violent? You'll find someone that will love you and not hurt you.
Once a cheater always a cheater.





Also he's abusive, no amount of money will ever make up for that.





Also, talk to his CO (Commanding Officer) about him being abusive, he's a Marine and that is unacceptable.
i can pretty well guess he's been deployed before...maybe more than once?





the violence...the uncertainty....





he needs more help than just marrital....





unfortunatly i think for YOU you need to walk away from this knowing you did all you could...





i feel like someday...if he gets the right help...he might look back on this and REALLY see what was going on.





if you even CONSIDER going back to him...i would lay down a very serious condition that he has to first complete therapy in dealing with his violence...if he's been deployed...getting help for possible PTSD... and then follow that therapy up with marriage counseling...





only under this absolute promise followed with action would i even host the idea of giving it another go.








good luck and hang in there...
I can totally relate. My wife is a soldier in the Army--currently serving in Iraq.





We have been married 1 1/2 years, but only lived together for 5 months because of the military. Shortly after we were married, she became VERY hateful to me. She even hit me about 3 times--in public no less. The worst part is that she discounted my feelings and my opinions--like they didn't matter. She completely ignored anything I had to say about almost everything like I was a child, not having any adult knowledge. I started looking into a divorce. When she came home on leave, we were supposed to go on our honeymoon in the Caribean. She indicated the evening after I picked her up at the airport that she did not want to be with me anymore. So I didn't go with her on the trip. Instead, while she was sunning her buns, I was contacting a lawyer and getting everything set up to be alone.





After she went back overseas, things happened and I started thinking--maybe I should not give up so quickly. Maybe I should give her a chance. So I am holding off on the divorce until she returns and we can see how well we can get along.





The truth is, I am not in love with ehr anymore. I still LOVE her. Probably always will. But her abusiveness killed the romantic spark that I used to hold for her in my heart. Now I look around at all of the other women, with whom I could get along so well. But, since I am not wanting to be a dirt-bag and divorce her during a deployment, I am stuck waiting for several more months until she returns and we give it another try.





My situation sounds a little different from yours. If your husband has abused you and refuses to get counselling, there is no hope for your marriage. It will only get worse. I am so sorry. I know this sucks, but no one deserves to be abused.





There is a man out there who will love you and treat you like a queen. Do not get stuck with a man who does not.
talk about this with somebody close to you/someone you can trust. and tell them that you need somebody there for support.
I say you get the divorce he sounds like such a pig. However regardless of what you it's obvious he needs counceling,you need to call his commander %26amp; tell him he has been violent with you %26amp; his commander (if he's a good one) will make it mandatory for him to seek counceling. Don't tell him, tell his commander.
When you feel like your missing him, get angry. Think of all the times he was violent, think of him with this other girl while you were probably still with him! Stay angry, divorce will be easier. you did the right thing by getting away from him girl!! stay strong!
Whether you love him or not you need to leave him. He has been violent already. And I'm sure with his training he could easily kill you if he got angry enough. And violent spouses always get more and more violent. Sometimes they stop for awhile when the heat is on or for other reasons. But when they return to violence they get worse. Many women (and men) have been killed by an angry spouse.


Don't let yourself feel sad that he left you. Instead think about the violence and be thankful that he left before he seriously injured you.


Whether you are religious or not you need to realize his leaving was a gift.


Divorce is going to hurt but at least you're not going to be buried.
He is not interested in you. He is interested in being married. You were a convenience. He obviously can't talk the other woman into marrying him. He wants the money and privileges that being married give the military. Extra money and being allowed to live off post are only the beginning. Some duty stations allow a shorter time for married people that don't move their spouses than single people. Get on with the divorce and get on with your life. Why haven't you been dating yet?