Monday, August 23, 2010

Tell me your tips & advice for dating a divorced man with kids...?

Just want to see your opinions.....thanks!Tell me your tips %26amp; advice for dating a divorced man with kids...?
be very nice to him, and nice to children, dont make it look like your trying to buy there frendship.theyll eventually attach to you,but you have to remember some times theres the odd child that will not attach, cause they dont want somebody replaceing there mom, its im portant to let them no that your not replaceing there mom, nobody can do that, your just there as a friend for them if they want to talk or come to you about anything,Tell me your tips %26amp; advice for dating a divorced man with kids...?
Why is he divorced? He shouldn't even introduce you until you think something will come of the relationship, how long have you been seeing one another? How old are his kids?
Some people can succeed in this situation, but it's much harder. It's not something I would choose, but if he's really a great guy, take it slow, think of the kids first, and be happy!





1) You are in a relationship with someone who has a history of a failed relationship. Make sure he knows why it failed, and that he's learned from it. Make sure he shows this over a period of years.





2) You are choosing to connect yourself with his kids. If the kids are already in school, you didn't raise them, and you will have less authority then daddy, even if he backs you up. Notice very carefully how he handles his kids, particularly on longer custody times. If he doesn't have the kids much (like every other weekend, or a week during the summer), then you are taking the kid's time away from their dad. Don't. They are more important then you.





3) If the kid's mom is anywhere near the picture, you are choosing to connect yourself with his ex-wife. Your guy is going to still need to have a relationship with his ex-wife, possibly for the rest of his life (through the kids!) Are you really prepared for that? What if she's psycho?
If he has custody of his kids, don't move in with him! If you have kids, don't move in with him! Don't try to be their mother or their best friend cause they will hate you for that. Let him be the one to discipline them....and....don't expect to be welcomed with open arms!
1. Understand that they come as a set. Don't expect dad to act like a free swinging bachelor. There will be times when he can't just pack up and go.


2. The kids come first. If you have a problem with that then don't date him.


3. Mom will be in his life. They may be divorced as husband and wife, but they are still mom and dad.


4. Don't expect to replace their mom should things become serious. You won't and shouldn't.


5. Do expect there may be resentment toward you because you are the new woman in dads life. They didn't ask for the divorce.


6. Interact with the kids, have fun whit the kids but remember #4 and be sincere. Kids are bright. They can smell a phony.


7. Just because dad likes you doesn't mean they will. Doesn't mean they won't either.


8. Listen to how he talks and interacts with his ex-wife. You can tell a lot about a guy this way.





All these assume he is a stand up guy who loves and wants to be a good dad despite things not working out with their mom. If he doesn't then run away, he's no good.
be nice to the kids and uh.. him to. but dont suck up to them.
Don't. You'll never be their mother, and if you ever have children with him, it will be bad for everyone.
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