';new stepmom';wants to start off on the right foot with hus exwife needs advice/help from single/ divorced moms

ok toms exwife is a wonderfull/involved mom to thier only child who is 8 yrs old.She is still single and relies on my hus for advice/support regarding thier son who is her life.I know she is not happy about me being the ';new wife'; as she sees me in ';her place';.My question is i don't want to make trouble with her so what can i do or don't do to avoid conflict with her?What does your exhusbands new wife do that pisses you off regarding your kids?';new stepmom';wants to start off on the right foot with hus exwife needs advice/help from single/ divorced moms
I have no ill feelings towards my ex husbands current wife. I feel blessed that my daughter receives even more love ( a child cannot have too much love). Sometimes I get a bit of a jealous twinge when my daughter talks about good times she has with her step mom, but I get over it and am just happy for my daughter.


My best advice is try not to make the ex-wife feel threatened if she is an insecure woman. Make it clear that you only want the best for the 8 year and if you are in the situation that you can talk peaceably with the ex, maybe ask her for advice on the child (such as likes and dislikes of food and such), mothers love to talk about their kids and what they like. For the time being do not act as a mother to this child, more like an aunt or a friend until the ex can see that you are not a threat.





It seems like you are already doing what is right.';new stepmom';wants to start off on the right foot with hus exwife needs advice/help from single/ divorced moms
The best you can do it soudns liek you already are. Just be understadning that they, even though not together, have a child to raise TOGETHER. She may be afraid that you will try to take over as mom to THEIR child. Stepmom's can be special and can have a very special place in teh relatioships, you just have to find where that is, where YOU fit.


~~BEST OF LUCK~~





My husband comes from a divorced family, and his stepmothers insecurities have destroyed the entire family. Her NEED to be in the middle, my husband is not even allowed a man to man relationship with his father!! If stepmother is not directly involved then its not allowed. He now has nothign to do with his parents. This hurts everyone involved, so please don;t let your situation come to this. You need to stay secure in YOUR marriage. While his relationship with his son is with his son, and he must retain some form of relatioship with his exwife, his with you is WITH YOU and don't forget that. Nor should you let anyone intrude on that.
Well...to be honest...will you guys likely be shopping buddies or best friends? Probably not...but should you guys be able to have a phone chat or have lunch together every once in a while...ideally, sure.





My ex-husband has a new woman in his life, and I ust told him yesterday that when everything is ';kosher'; so to speak...she and I should meet. I mean, I feel like I should know a bit about the people who are permanent fixtures in the lives of children. And I would say, in the ex-wife position, I would find it a bit reassuring if the ';new woman'; were to talk to me...tell me she isn't trying to be ';mom'; and isn't trying to replace me...that she respects that I am the mother. And it would also make me feel better if, whem my girls ask a question about ';can I do this'; or whatnot...and she says ';Why don't we ask your mom?'; Also, no secrets from mom...surprises are one thing, secrets are another...





I guess, basically...treat her the way you home to be treated if you and your husband split up. (Not saying you will...jus imagine yourself in a similar situation.) Be honest and straightforward. You said she is a wonderful mom...why not tell her so? Compliments have a way of hindering paranoia.
Im going down the same road as you are, im the New woman you will say,, Keep in mind, we are all human...I tried the not making people mad and what not, it helps, but in the long run, do what you thinks best. My ';stepwife'; would cuz and argue with my now fiance for no reason if my name was brought up, by the kids or any thing, even if it was her... I had a talk with her, unfortunatly it was at the hospital when the baby had to go, but it helped clear the air...
My ex husband doesn't have a new wife and my daughter is an adult. I suggest inviting her over for coffee just you and her, no husband/exhusband and no child. Get to know her, talk to her about wanting to keep things running as smoothly as possible for the child and ask her for disciplining tips, find out what the child can/can not do in her home and implement the same rules in your home. You don't have to become best friends but it would be helpful if you got to know her style of raising her daughter to make it easier on everyone involved. Let her know that you're not there to replace her as mother to her daughter but want to be an extra source of help and support for both her daughter as well as herself.
Okay, so I'm not a divorced wife, but I come from a family of divorce. She pretty much doesn't have a choice but to accept that you are not a part of your husband's and his son's life. If I were you, I would just try and not be confrontational about things. If you are in a disagreement about anything, try and keep it from the son. Definitely make sure that she is included in family events, like birthday parties etc.





I know that my stepmom harbors jealousy towards my mother and that has completely affected everyone's relationships. My dad doesn't come around as much as he did before he remarried and when he is around her, he doesn't quite have the same sense of humor. I have a stepdad, too, but he's a pretty laid back kind of guy. My parents both remarried when I was in college, so I'm not in quite the same situation as your stepson.