Divorced parents.. I need advice?

My parents are divorced and have been for about five years and all this time i have been living with my mom and my older brother. My brother is a senior so he'll be moving out next year. I'm fifteen.





My problem is.. recently my dad brought up living with him and his wife. It seems like a perfect solution for me. Their house has EVERYTHING i want in a house and it is perfect for me! I've always wanted to move and be the new kid at school. I'm so sick of where I live and everyone here. I want new friends. Moving.. perfect. I also really like a guy that lives where my dad lives, which is only like 30-45 minutes away from where i currently live with my mom. Haha and I know that guys will always change so that's not really a good reason :p





Also I feel like my dad actually appreciates me and my stories. When I try to talk to my mom it's like she's not really listening, like she doesn't care. I've considered running away, many times..





I just really think living with my dad, even if it was just for a year or so, would be perfect and make my life like 8789345 times better, but I know it would kill my mom. She's always been jealous of my dad's new wife and she would feel replaced. I'd be afraid she'd kill herself if I left.





I don't know what to do, cause I know that technically it's my choice where I want to live since I am fifteen, but it would KILLL my mom.. I don't know if I should selfishly live with my dad or miserably live with my mom.





Anybody help :/ Especially divorced adults? Or someone in a similar situation.Divorced parents.. I need advice?
my parents have been divorced for 11 years, and my dad always wants me to go live with him. i really don't want to. i know how you feel. just do what you think would be best for you. if your parents loved you, they would want whats best for you. if you think it would be the right decision for you, do it. if it doesn't work out, you can always move back in with your mom. or you could just try it for a little while, and see how it works. if it does, stay, if it doesn't, move back in. you could still talk to your mom on the phone and email and stuff too. so its not like you wouldn't be able to talk to her at all. just do what you think would be best for you.Divorced parents.. I need advice?
Maybe before you jump to conclusions you should have an open talk with your mom and see how she actually feels. You could also ask for joint custody; your mom could have you summers, weekends, and every other holiday. And your dad could have you the rest of the time. If your mom doesn't like the idea maybe you could just go for visits once a week or something. Hope i helped!
you need to think about the pro's %26amp; cons of going to live with your father. think about the good that will come out of it. then think about the bad and see how it plays out. if your fear for your mother is too strong or if your impulse to live with your father is stronger. think though that your parents want you to be happy.


good luck. :]
It sounds like you and your mom really need to talk this out. My friend stayed with her mom when her parents got divorced because she wanted to be near her friends and was afraid her mom would be alone [much like yourself]. She ended up getting very depressed and spiralling into drugs and alcohol [not saying you will].





If you want to live with your dad as bad as you say sit down with your mom and talk it out. You and her can come up with pros and cons and each of you can talking about the feelings you have about the situation cause it is a tough one. Maybe it will help making your decision easier.
Thats a toughie...


I wouldn't hurt your mom by ditching her completely but you want to be happy too right? Live with your dad during the school year then move in with your mom during the summer. See her on weekends and keep her involved in your life. Let her know its not permenant and that you still want to be with her too. She will be hurt but she wants the best for you


-Best of Luck
I think what you need to do is have a heart to heart conversation with your mother. I have raised 2 teenage daughters and I know what the mother/daughter relationship can be like at that age. It's very very common for mothers and daughters not to see eye to eye when the daughter is around 15. Often more communication is required. I suspect if your mum knows how you feel and that you are seriously considering moving to your dad's she will listen very closely to what you have to say and will try to work things out with you.





It would have devastated me if one of my daughters had gone to live with my ex-husband. I know that they thought about it when we were fighting but they never did thankfully.





I would also point out that, ';the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence'; but it rarely is. You may think you will love it at your dad's but you might figure out after a few months that it's no better than your mum's.





Good luck - I hope everything works out for you!
I know this sounds kinda harsh and stuff but maybe try not to be around her, talk to her to much etc. So then it will kinda get her ready for you to leave. I think that your big brother could probably take care of her. Unless you are planning on moving in with him next school year?





I am sorry I couldn't be of more help :\
I may not be in the same situation, but have been told that I give good advice so I hope what I say helps.





You are right that you shouldn't move just because there is a guy that you like over there, but if it is that you need new friends, I support you one hundred percent. Sometimes a brand new clean image is what we need to become ourselves again. If where you are is not where you wanna be then do something about it, never be a push over. Also the fact that it is only 30-45 minutes away from where your mom's residence is that is good. Easy transportation for easier visiting!





I would go to your dad because you need a good listener, and although living with someone who is of opposite gender is different and a bit awkward, if you are happy, that is the most important thing. And don't run away. If you ever feel the urge to, tell your mom exactly where you are going ((your dad's house would be the best)) and then go there so that she knows where to contact you if she needs to. Also make sure she knows WHY you are going, not that you are asking about that but thought I would throw that in there.





Make sure that your mom knows you would visit her atleast once a week, maybe for the weekends?? Make sure she knows that you will miss her and tell her why you want to move there ((and not that it is for your dad's wife because there is no reason to hurt her just because)). Talk it out and let her know when she isn't listening. Be really open.





You are not being selfish, just hungry for change. I hope I helped despite my lack of experience! Best of luck and I hope you get to live with your dad! :)
Well, I'm sort of in the same sitch. My dad wants me to move in with him (only he's 9 hours away). And it would kill my mom, so I don't know what I'm gonna do, but maybe you could live at your Dad's house and spend weekends with your mom so that she doesn't feel left out. Maybe come up with a reason why it'd be better for you to go to the school near your dad. Or you can always play the, 'I sometimes feel like part of me's missing' card. That always works. But I'm sure your mom just wants you to be happy. Talk to her.