What advice would you give to a friends who? is a single mother struggling with four kids and divorced from a?

drug addict ex husband/ father of all four of her kids? weve been friends since high school and weve just recently reconnected after losing touch for many many years. shes just found out her ex husband is having another child with his current gf and this makes their fourth child but one died. shes so pissed because he does absolutely nothing for their kids nothing pretty a dead beat dad living at home in his mothers basement with the current gf and their kids wtf. what advice would you give to a friend in this situation women? iam gay i dont do men and iam lost as to how to console her with words since were texting shes really hurt. sigh what do i say to help her feel better and stop feeling so upset about a dead beat bum as$ low life?What advice would you give to a friends who? is a single mother struggling with four kids and divorced from a?
Hey there Libra! The best thing your friend can do is to apply to AFDC (Aid For Dependent Children). She will get a monthly check to assist her and also dental and medical for the children. Even if she works depending on her salary she will still receive a check. Get food stamps and help with her basic utilities. I'm not judging her but how can she afford a cell phone with texting? My bill is $40 plus a month and texting is blocked on my phone. If she wants her children to be successful independent adults she should begin as soon as possible pursuing an education where she can also receive assistance with this. She should set an example being a strong, independent woman capable of raising 4 children. It won't be easy but she isn't the first single mother of multiple children and she won't be the last. Finally if she is still crying over this low life piece of crap there is nothing you can do to steer her in the other direction. She should realize anyone else who is with him is that much better for her. ONE LESS CHILD TO RAISE! Once she is on the path to education and independence her self esteem will improve and she will be able to see that there are really good men out there that want children and will be more than willing to father a ready made family. Most importantly she should take herself and her kids to church, a church family is invaluable during difficult times. The best thing is that when she applies for assistance from the state and gives his name and vital information the state will be on him like stink on sh.t. He WILL pay sooner or later and she will have that satisfaction of knowing he can run and screw everything that walks but he can't hide. God Bless you for caring, God Bless her for raising her children with proper morals and direction.What advice would you give to a friends who? is a single mother struggling with four kids and divorced from a?
I'd tell her to grow up, educate herself, and learn choice/decision making skills. And that she shouldn't blame anyone else for the wrong choices that she made with her life, thereby screwing the life of the man, and her four children.





And if she whines more, I'd tell her t S_FU.
Make them kids first priority and forget about them ******.


Get as much schooling as she can, budget, sacrifice, and make sure the kids get proper education. She's obviously had enough sex so forget about a love life.
I would advise her to choose a better husband , but I guess it's a bit too late for that.





Just why do women choose men like this and then complain about their circumstances ?
She needs to start focusing on making good life for her children. She needs to quit wasting time and emotion being ';pissed'; or upset about a static situation. She is divorced, she has to learn to let go of the old feelings and start building a life. It goes like this, decent place to live, decent job, school to get a better job, and children.





Yeah, sounds harsh, too bad. Life is harsh. The sooner she quits whinging about her ex, the sooner she can focus on what is truly important. It isn't easy but it can be done. I did it with seven children, she can do it with four.
Tell her that it will get better. Tell her to try and raise her kids as well as she can, not by giving them toys and candy, but giving them love, moral lessons, and discipline. This will help them turn into the great people they will become.


Tell her not to give up, you know she can do it, and even help out with her kids.


Tell her that there are nice people out there, and that people care about her. That's important, because people in these situations can feel lost and alone sometimes.


Tell her to remember the good times. It's important that she laughs every once in a while.


Hope this helped!
Careful calling the man a ';deadbeat.'; I've seen plenty of situations where vindictive and immature women use the kids as a weapons and deny the men opportunities to see the kids while sitting back demanding money.





You are too close with that woman to know the ';real'; situation.





I'm more than certain she has a pretty biased take on the situation.





I'm sure his story is far different.





Guess what probably happens when he tries to see his kids. Your friend probably nags him ceaselessly and every little thing he does ';wrong'; (according to her it's ';wrong';) ...will garner a 20 minute nag.





...As a result, he just wants to save himself the drama and save his kids from seeing their parents shouting at each other in front of them.





I wouldn't worry too much about it. As the children get older they will seek out a relationship with their father and then they will learn the real deal. That's when the healing will begin.





They will never forgive your friend if she is indeed selfishly and immaturely hindering their relationship with their father.





EDIT:





Face it... you are believing every word that your friend tells you and you really don't know the truth. Let's just say some people have been known to ';fudge'; the facts a little to gain more sympathy and tip the scales in their favor.





Example: Your friend's ex might smoke a joint every now and then and your friend labels him a ';drug addict'; for it.





Breakups make some people overly emotional and completely irrational. When she calms down, her story might change.





...And if the guy is actually a low-life ';drug addict'; then your friend should be glad he's not a part of her kid's life and should make sure she keeps it that way. Why would she care if he ';does absolutely nothing'; for their kids if he's such a loser?





She should be happy to have him out of the picture.





Maybe like other ';independent'; women... she just wants his cash.