I am divorcing my husband of 12 years We had no prenuptial arrangement my husband has assets and property. When I asked him to let me have the house he said all the stuff he has is not his but is his sisters she is 21, I now find out that all his other brothers assets and property belong to her and are under her name. I think they all just did that in case they got a divorce they would lose there stuff. I don't know what to do about this I don't know if I would be able to get anything as when we got married I didn't own anything of my own.I am divorcing my husband We had no prenuptial arrangement? I don't know what to do? I need some advice?
Wow, I would find a good lawyer and hope for the best. It sounds like your husband's a real jerk if he would actually put everything in another name to make sure you didn't get anything if anything should happen to your marriage. My best guess is that you will be able to work something out with him, but if he really wants everything he can probably keep it. Maybe make really good friends with his sister to solve everything LOL.I am divorcing my husband We had no prenuptial arrangement? I don't know what to do? I need some advice?
Property and assets, including house? Why do you think that isn't community property?
advice..
money involved, you don't need to go by what someone here says.. GET A LAWYER.
do you work? if not, or if you didnt really make a lot of money somehow maybe you can come up with a way to show he was the finacial provider of the marriage and if nothing else you should be able to get alimony. did you have any kids by him? and yea i think you are right he did this because he didnt want anyone to take his assets.... but as the other person stated i would make sure to get a good lawyer. sorry you are going through this!
As others have noted, the laws governing your situation will depend greatly on the state in which you live. The best advice I can give you is to consult with a lawyer with experience in family law and divorce negotiations, of which there are a great deal.
By way of general advice, I can tell you that, even when there is a prenuptial agreement, the judge in family court has equitable discretion over the division of property, alimony, child support, and other issues incident to divorce. The key word here is fairness, and there are many factors a judge will consider in determining a fair settlement. I can't give you a conclusive analysis, but you may be able to argue that your husband's management of his assets in his sister's name was fraudulent as to yourself. If the court agrees, they could be treated as his assets for purposes of a divorce judgment. A lawyer will be better able to advise you in that regard, and you really must work with one in a complicated situation like this one.
hmmm what state you in? I doubt a 21 year old could obtain all these property's so i am sure under the penalty of perjury in a court they can be questioned. also bank records money taken out where did it go? taxes did you file joint if so get the records this is a mess but its your fault for being lazy. you smelled a rotting fish but chose to ignore it now you will have a huge headache. Also if this is something being done as practice where is your proof how do you know his brother is doing this? you will need evidence for everything usually people stipulate out property once they see they are being found out but you have to get evidence. I would get on this pronto. Don't trust your lawyer to do right by you. This can be your chance to do right by yourself for once!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
What advice would you give to a friends who? is a single mother struggling with four kids and divorced from a?
drug addict ex husband/ father of all four of her kids? weve been friends since high school and weve just recently reconnected after losing touch for many many years. shes just found out her ex husband is having another child with his current gf and this makes their fourth child but one died. shes so pissed because he does absolutely nothing for their kids nothing pretty a dead beat dad living at home in his mothers basement with the current gf and their kids wtf. what advice would you give to a friend in this situation women? iam gay i dont do men and iam lost as to how to console her with words since were texting shes really hurt. sigh what do i say to help her feel better and stop feeling so upset about a dead beat bum as$ low life?What advice would you give to a friends who? is a single mother struggling with four kids and divorced from a?
Hey there Libra! The best thing your friend can do is to apply to AFDC (Aid For Dependent Children). She will get a monthly check to assist her and also dental and medical for the children. Even if she works depending on her salary she will still receive a check. Get food stamps and help with her basic utilities. I'm not judging her but how can she afford a cell phone with texting? My bill is $40 plus a month and texting is blocked on my phone. If she wants her children to be successful independent adults she should begin as soon as possible pursuing an education where she can also receive assistance with this. She should set an example being a strong, independent woman capable of raising 4 children. It won't be easy but she isn't the first single mother of multiple children and she won't be the last. Finally if she is still crying over this low life piece of crap there is nothing you can do to steer her in the other direction. She should realize anyone else who is with him is that much better for her. ONE LESS CHILD TO RAISE! Once she is on the path to education and independence her self esteem will improve and she will be able to see that there are really good men out there that want children and will be more than willing to father a ready made family. Most importantly she should take herself and her kids to church, a church family is invaluable during difficult times. The best thing is that when she applies for assistance from the state and gives his name and vital information the state will be on him like stink on sh.t. He WILL pay sooner or later and she will have that satisfaction of knowing he can run and screw everything that walks but he can't hide. God Bless you for caring, God Bless her for raising her children with proper morals and direction.What advice would you give to a friends who? is a single mother struggling with four kids and divorced from a?
I'd tell her to grow up, educate herself, and learn choice/decision making skills. And that she shouldn't blame anyone else for the wrong choices that she made with her life, thereby screwing the life of the man, and her four children.
And if she whines more, I'd tell her t S_FU.
Make them kids first priority and forget about them ******.
Get as much schooling as she can, budget, sacrifice, and make sure the kids get proper education. She's obviously had enough sex so forget about a love life.
I would advise her to choose a better husband , but I guess it's a bit too late for that.
Just why do women choose men like this and then complain about their circumstances ?
She needs to start focusing on making good life for her children. She needs to quit wasting time and emotion being ';pissed'; or upset about a static situation. She is divorced, she has to learn to let go of the old feelings and start building a life. It goes like this, decent place to live, decent job, school to get a better job, and children.
Yeah, sounds harsh, too bad. Life is harsh. The sooner she quits whinging about her ex, the sooner she can focus on what is truly important. It isn't easy but it can be done. I did it with seven children, she can do it with four.
Tell her that it will get better. Tell her to try and raise her kids as well as she can, not by giving them toys and candy, but giving them love, moral lessons, and discipline. This will help them turn into the great people they will become.
Tell her not to give up, you know she can do it, and even help out with her kids.
Tell her that there are nice people out there, and that people care about her. That's important, because people in these situations can feel lost and alone sometimes.
Tell her to remember the good times. It's important that she laughs every once in a while.
Hope this helped!
Careful calling the man a ';deadbeat.'; I've seen plenty of situations where vindictive and immature women use the kids as a weapons and deny the men opportunities to see the kids while sitting back demanding money.
You are too close with that woman to know the ';real'; situation.
I'm more than certain she has a pretty biased take on the situation.
I'm sure his story is far different.
Guess what probably happens when he tries to see his kids. Your friend probably nags him ceaselessly and every little thing he does ';wrong'; (according to her it's ';wrong';) ...will garner a 20 minute nag.
...As a result, he just wants to save himself the drama and save his kids from seeing their parents shouting at each other in front of them.
I wouldn't worry too much about it. As the children get older they will seek out a relationship with their father and then they will learn the real deal. That's when the healing will begin.
They will never forgive your friend if she is indeed selfishly and immaturely hindering their relationship with their father.
EDIT:
Face it... you are believing every word that your friend tells you and you really don't know the truth. Let's just say some people have been known to ';fudge'; the facts a little to gain more sympathy and tip the scales in their favor.
Example: Your friend's ex might smoke a joint every now and then and your friend labels him a ';drug addict'; for it.
Breakups make some people overly emotional and completely irrational. When she calms down, her story might change.
...And if the guy is actually a low-life ';drug addict'; then your friend should be glad he's not a part of her kid's life and should make sure she keeps it that way. Why would she care if he ';does absolutely nothing'; for their kids if he's such a loser?
She should be happy to have him out of the picture.
Maybe like other ';independent'; women... she just wants his cash.
Hey there Libra! The best thing your friend can do is to apply to AFDC (Aid For Dependent Children). She will get a monthly check to assist her and also dental and medical for the children. Even if she works depending on her salary she will still receive a check. Get food stamps and help with her basic utilities. I'm not judging her but how can she afford a cell phone with texting? My bill is $40 plus a month and texting is blocked on my phone. If she wants her children to be successful independent adults she should begin as soon as possible pursuing an education where she can also receive assistance with this. She should set an example being a strong, independent woman capable of raising 4 children. It won't be easy but she isn't the first single mother of multiple children and she won't be the last. Finally if she is still crying over this low life piece of crap there is nothing you can do to steer her in the other direction. She should realize anyone else who is with him is that much better for her. ONE LESS CHILD TO RAISE! Once she is on the path to education and independence her self esteem will improve and she will be able to see that there are really good men out there that want children and will be more than willing to father a ready made family. Most importantly she should take herself and her kids to church, a church family is invaluable during difficult times. The best thing is that when she applies for assistance from the state and gives his name and vital information the state will be on him like stink on sh.t. He WILL pay sooner or later and she will have that satisfaction of knowing he can run and screw everything that walks but he can't hide. God Bless you for caring, God Bless her for raising her children with proper morals and direction.What advice would you give to a friends who? is a single mother struggling with four kids and divorced from a?
I'd tell her to grow up, educate herself, and learn choice/decision making skills. And that she shouldn't blame anyone else for the wrong choices that she made with her life, thereby screwing the life of the man, and her four children.
And if she whines more, I'd tell her t S_FU.
Make them kids first priority and forget about them ******.
Get as much schooling as she can, budget, sacrifice, and make sure the kids get proper education. She's obviously had enough sex so forget about a love life.
I would advise her to choose a better husband , but I guess it's a bit too late for that.
Just why do women choose men like this and then complain about their circumstances ?
She needs to start focusing on making good life for her children. She needs to quit wasting time and emotion being ';pissed'; or upset about a static situation. She is divorced, she has to learn to let go of the old feelings and start building a life. It goes like this, decent place to live, decent job, school to get a better job, and children.
Yeah, sounds harsh, too bad. Life is harsh. The sooner she quits whinging about her ex, the sooner she can focus on what is truly important. It isn't easy but it can be done. I did it with seven children, she can do it with four.
Tell her that it will get better. Tell her to try and raise her kids as well as she can, not by giving them toys and candy, but giving them love, moral lessons, and discipline. This will help them turn into the great people they will become.
Tell her not to give up, you know she can do it, and even help out with her kids.
Tell her that there are nice people out there, and that people care about her. That's important, because people in these situations can feel lost and alone sometimes.
Tell her to remember the good times. It's important that she laughs every once in a while.
Hope this helped!
Careful calling the man a ';deadbeat.'; I've seen plenty of situations where vindictive and immature women use the kids as a weapons and deny the men opportunities to see the kids while sitting back demanding money.
You are too close with that woman to know the ';real'; situation.
I'm more than certain she has a pretty biased take on the situation.
I'm sure his story is far different.
Guess what probably happens when he tries to see his kids. Your friend probably nags him ceaselessly and every little thing he does ';wrong'; (according to her it's ';wrong';) ...will garner a 20 minute nag.
...As a result, he just wants to save himself the drama and save his kids from seeing their parents shouting at each other in front of them.
I wouldn't worry too much about it. As the children get older they will seek out a relationship with their father and then they will learn the real deal. That's when the healing will begin.
They will never forgive your friend if she is indeed selfishly and immaturely hindering their relationship with their father.
EDIT:
Face it... you are believing every word that your friend tells you and you really don't know the truth. Let's just say some people have been known to ';fudge'; the facts a little to gain more sympathy and tip the scales in their favor.
Example: Your friend's ex might smoke a joint every now and then and your friend labels him a ';drug addict'; for it.
Breakups make some people overly emotional and completely irrational. When she calms down, her story might change.
...And if the guy is actually a low-life ';drug addict'; then your friend should be glad he's not a part of her kid's life and should make sure she keeps it that way. Why would she care if he ';does absolutely nothing'; for their kids if he's such a loser?
She should be happy to have him out of the picture.
Maybe like other ';independent'; women... she just wants his cash.
Recently divorced and now my ex sis-in-law and me are fooling around. Can I get some advice?
Ok this is messy and I didn't plan it like this it has just happened. I got divorced (the wife just said after 3 years that she didn't want to me married) 11 months ago and her little sister and me have been going out to bars just as friends, well we were very drunk and I was driving her home and she asked have I ever wanted to kiss her, I said yes I always had so she leaned over and put a real wet one on me. I was driving but it lasted quite a while. When we got to her house she said she'd always liked me and wished it had been her and not her sis who married me. She is a total hottie so I always thought she was hot, but well I met her sis first ya know? Anyway we got in her pool and drank some more and well you can guess how the evening/morning ended. Now we've been out a couple more times and it seems we are perfect for each other. The Ex does not know we are kind of an item. I know it wouldn't go over well...what can I do??? Suggestions really needed...thanxRecently divorced and now my ex sis-in-law and me are fooling around. Can I get some advice?
I don't blame you at all in this one as you were dumped by one sister, then tempted by the other sister with no moral compass. My sister would never do that. So, in my opinion, you should go ahead---screw her brains out--- keep it completely physical---don't fall in love--- then dump her in a month or two! Little sis needs to learn a lesson!Recently divorced and now my ex sis-in-law and me are fooling around. Can I get some advice?
You're both selfish and actually deserve to lose your family and each other. Get your head out the clouds, stop thinking with your penis, be adult and realise what this might cause: a broken, ruined family. And for what? A couple of months of so-called love and good sex.
Sounds like your ex did good in divorcing you if you always had wanted to kiss her little sister. You're both adults. It will be tough for her and the rest of her family to deal with, but they will eventually get over it. Odds are, she (lil sis) won't be able to deal with the pressure her family is going to put on her. I hope there aren't kids involved. It would be most confusing to them.
Expect some serious family fights in the near future. Personally your ex lost any right to complain about the situation and if you like her sister than go for it. You might ask the one you are sleeping with though if she is prepared for her sister getting pissed (or her family, not that they should care), If she is down with it, keep on rolling.
I would run away cuz that is just gonna cause real problems. Never do things within the same family. Do you have kids with your ex wife? If so then you are with their aunt that could be really confusing for them in the future. Go outside and look for someone you don't already know, and you weren't married to their sister. Thats just kinda weird.
Ok so you were drunk and then married to her relative and now you think you and her can do well? Drunk?and well? two things that will never ever go very well. If you did not do happy with the sister what makes you think she will do well? Do they look alike? is that what you are wanting? a replica of your first, after all she dumped you not you her. Suggestions? Move on
Is it worth it to wreck a family over a ';total hottie?'; How can you know that you are ';perfect'; for each other when all you have done so far is have sex? So your private parts are a perfect fit or what? Come on, man, aren't you smarter than this? Get over yourself and leave this family alone.
You can do anything that you want now because you are now divorced from the wife. If the ex doesn't like it, if she finds out, then that is her problem. Not yours. You do not have to explain anything to your ex. You are a grown man and can see and do anything that you want.
probably not a problem if what you are saying is corerct about your wife just all of a sudden says she does not want to be married to you anymore. That means she has another guy taking care of her. Yoru situation may cause problems with them but it's their problem.. she wanted things to end..good luck
well technically you are divorced and the sis is single right? If I were your ex wife, I'd be uncomfortable to have you back in the family so unless you are ready for the drama that comes along w/it, make sure it doesn't go anywhere.
Well, lets just say some family members did this and the relationship between the brothers was never the same again, afterwards.
The exwife was a complete ***** but they both figured out what a piece of trash she was.
if you have moved on and you are completely over the ex, yes it will be hard for her to hear that you are with her little sister, but be prepared to deal with the ugly of this matter
This is kind of creepy.
You mentioned that you always thought she was hot?
I don't know, I think your ex- was smart to divorce you.....I would not want to be married to a guy who thought my little sister was hot, it is just sick.
daam! thats hot but gross! what r u gonna do? ur wife is gonna kill u and beat her sister!!!!!! at least u got to tap it first right? lol
Family get togethers should be alot of fun.
End it with the sister otherwise it could get very messy...especially for her
Enjoy yourself and let what ever happens happen!
Suggestions on what? You already did the nasty. Both of you had this in your minds all along.
The next family gathering will be fun, won't it?
keep it on the down low
Your ex is the one that ended it so...
Her loss
wow, what's the name of this movie?
Are the sisters close. I don't know what I would do if my sister done that to me. And how much do you care for you ex wife. Do you want to hurt her like that. The sister that you are seeing needs to have a heart to heart with her sister (your ex) to see how she would really feel about everything. You need to sit back and think about is all of this is wroth you hurting them both.
Number one--don't use alcohol as an excuse. I hate it when people do that. Are you both adults? Yes, so accept responsibility for your adult actions. That being said, the two of you can do whatever you want, but I just don't see why you'd want to tread in those particular waters. It will most likely only cause more heartache and strife in the long run if and when it all comes out. I suspect you may just be hitting it with the sister to get back at the ex. Wonder if that ever crossed your mind.
just think how easy it will be at the next family function-- you'll already know everyone-- it may be awkward for a little while, but if you were on good terms with her family, and she wanted to end the marriage on her own, then I personally do not see a problem -- if on the other hand , she divorced you due to some problems or faults that made you seem like a jerk to the family, there will be some serious negative feed back-- I was divorced about 11 yrs ago-- it was harder for my inlaws to accept the divorce than my ex-wife-
Maybe if you got a brother your ex can go out with him! =P Y'all already took it too far, so what does it matter what the ex thinks? She doesn't want you no more, but it's still very nasty to keep it in the family, there's millions of women out there in the world, why you had to go do that with her sister, and even at that her younger sister! WHOA! Drama! All you can do is try to figure out something, see if it actually is going to go somewhere with this new lady in your life. Anyway give it way more time and see where it actually is going, just because it seems ';perfect'; doesn't mean it is, since everything is fresh it always seems like that If it gets more serious with this girl, then y'all both need to sit down and discuss this little ordeal and come up with something that your ex maybe able to understand, she'll be pissed, but since you and her ain't got nothing going on, what's the problem, only one that should be worried more is her sister not you! Best of luck to ya! =) You and your woman need to sit down privately and discuss this with your ex-wife, I'm sure she'll understand... eventually! So best of luck to y'all!!! I guess the holidays should be interesting this year huh =) j/k!
The right thing to do is never the easiest thing to do.
Your choices are to end this relationship and avoid the fallout before everyone finds out about it---or---you can continue the way you are and deal with whatever happens. But understand that your ex's sister will take the brunt of her family's outrage.
Just as a side note here---you said that you guys seem perfect for each other. Sorry dude, but I really question your judgment. You've been going out to the bars, and calling it ';just as friends,'; but you both know it was always more than that, You were very drunk yet you got behind the wheel and drove her home. Not only were you very drunk and driving, but you managed to squeeze in a long kiss in your already impaired condition. Then you drank even more, wound up in the sack with your hot ex-sister in law, and now you think you're perfect for each other. I seriously doubt it, but that's just me. Where I come from---two wrongs don't make a right. This entire situation exists only because of poor judgement... How can that be right?
Well if it all started after the divorce like you stated, then your wife just has to be a big girl and accept it. I wonder how will your in-laws react, they thought finally we got rid of him and damn now he is back...lol
It could get as crazy as jerry springer, but if you can handle the drama then have at it, you might become the reason the sisters will never see each other again. Thanksgiving and Christmas will become very uncomfortable. Good luck.nyx cosmetic
I don't blame you at all in this one as you were dumped by one sister, then tempted by the other sister with no moral compass. My sister would never do that. So, in my opinion, you should go ahead---screw her brains out--- keep it completely physical---don't fall in love--- then dump her in a month or two! Little sis needs to learn a lesson!Recently divorced and now my ex sis-in-law and me are fooling around. Can I get some advice?
You're both selfish and actually deserve to lose your family and each other. Get your head out the clouds, stop thinking with your penis, be adult and realise what this might cause: a broken, ruined family. And for what? A couple of months of so-called love and good sex.
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Sounds like your ex did good in divorcing you if you always had wanted to kiss her little sister. You're both adults. It will be tough for her and the rest of her family to deal with, but they will eventually get over it. Odds are, she (lil sis) won't be able to deal with the pressure her family is going to put on her. I hope there aren't kids involved. It would be most confusing to them.
Expect some serious family fights in the near future. Personally your ex lost any right to complain about the situation and if you like her sister than go for it. You might ask the one you are sleeping with though if she is prepared for her sister getting pissed (or her family, not that they should care), If she is down with it, keep on rolling.
I would run away cuz that is just gonna cause real problems. Never do things within the same family. Do you have kids with your ex wife? If so then you are with their aunt that could be really confusing for them in the future. Go outside and look for someone you don't already know, and you weren't married to their sister. Thats just kinda weird.
Ok so you were drunk and then married to her relative and now you think you and her can do well? Drunk?and well? two things that will never ever go very well. If you did not do happy with the sister what makes you think she will do well? Do they look alike? is that what you are wanting? a replica of your first, after all she dumped you not you her. Suggestions? Move on
Is it worth it to wreck a family over a ';total hottie?'; How can you know that you are ';perfect'; for each other when all you have done so far is have sex? So your private parts are a perfect fit or what? Come on, man, aren't you smarter than this? Get over yourself and leave this family alone.
You can do anything that you want now because you are now divorced from the wife. If the ex doesn't like it, if she finds out, then that is her problem. Not yours. You do not have to explain anything to your ex. You are a grown man and can see and do anything that you want.
probably not a problem if what you are saying is corerct about your wife just all of a sudden says she does not want to be married to you anymore. That means she has another guy taking care of her. Yoru situation may cause problems with them but it's their problem.. she wanted things to end..good luck
well technically you are divorced and the sis is single right? If I were your ex wife, I'd be uncomfortable to have you back in the family so unless you are ready for the drama that comes along w/it, make sure it doesn't go anywhere.
Well, lets just say some family members did this and the relationship between the brothers was never the same again, afterwards.
The exwife was a complete ***** but they both figured out what a piece of trash she was.
if you have moved on and you are completely over the ex, yes it will be hard for her to hear that you are with her little sister, but be prepared to deal with the ugly of this matter
This is kind of creepy.
You mentioned that you always thought she was hot?
I don't know, I think your ex- was smart to divorce you.....I would not want to be married to a guy who thought my little sister was hot, it is just sick.
daam! thats hot but gross! what r u gonna do? ur wife is gonna kill u and beat her sister!!!!!! at least u got to tap it first right? lol
Family get togethers should be alot of fun.
End it with the sister otherwise it could get very messy...especially for her
Enjoy yourself and let what ever happens happen!
Suggestions on what? You already did the nasty. Both of you had this in your minds all along.
The next family gathering will be fun, won't it?
keep it on the down low
Your ex is the one that ended it so...
Her loss
wow, what's the name of this movie?
Are the sisters close. I don't know what I would do if my sister done that to me. And how much do you care for you ex wife. Do you want to hurt her like that. The sister that you are seeing needs to have a heart to heart with her sister (your ex) to see how she would really feel about everything. You need to sit back and think about is all of this is wroth you hurting them both.
Number one--don't use alcohol as an excuse. I hate it when people do that. Are you both adults? Yes, so accept responsibility for your adult actions. That being said, the two of you can do whatever you want, but I just don't see why you'd want to tread in those particular waters. It will most likely only cause more heartache and strife in the long run if and when it all comes out. I suspect you may just be hitting it with the sister to get back at the ex. Wonder if that ever crossed your mind.
just think how easy it will be at the next family function-- you'll already know everyone-- it may be awkward for a little while, but if you were on good terms with her family, and she wanted to end the marriage on her own, then I personally do not see a problem -- if on the other hand , she divorced you due to some problems or faults that made you seem like a jerk to the family, there will be some serious negative feed back-- I was divorced about 11 yrs ago-- it was harder for my inlaws to accept the divorce than my ex-wife-
Maybe if you got a brother your ex can go out with him! =P Y'all already took it too far, so what does it matter what the ex thinks? She doesn't want you no more, but it's still very nasty to keep it in the family, there's millions of women out there in the world, why you had to go do that with her sister, and even at that her younger sister! WHOA! Drama! All you can do is try to figure out something, see if it actually is going to go somewhere with this new lady in your life. Anyway give it way more time and see where it actually is going, just because it seems ';perfect'; doesn't mean it is, since everything is fresh it always seems like that If it gets more serious with this girl, then y'all both need to sit down and discuss this little ordeal and come up with something that your ex maybe able to understand, she'll be pissed, but since you and her ain't got nothing going on, what's the problem, only one that should be worried more is her sister not you! Best of luck to ya! =) You and your woman need to sit down privately and discuss this with your ex-wife, I'm sure she'll understand... eventually! So best of luck to y'all!!! I guess the holidays should be interesting this year huh =) j/k!
The right thing to do is never the easiest thing to do.
Your choices are to end this relationship and avoid the fallout before everyone finds out about it---or---you can continue the way you are and deal with whatever happens. But understand that your ex's sister will take the brunt of her family's outrage.
Just as a side note here---you said that you guys seem perfect for each other. Sorry dude, but I really question your judgment. You've been going out to the bars, and calling it ';just as friends,'; but you both know it was always more than that, You were very drunk yet you got behind the wheel and drove her home. Not only were you very drunk and driving, but you managed to squeeze in a long kiss in your already impaired condition. Then you drank even more, wound up in the sack with your hot ex-sister in law, and now you think you're perfect for each other. I seriously doubt it, but that's just me. Where I come from---two wrongs don't make a right. This entire situation exists only because of poor judgement... How can that be right?
Well if it all started after the divorce like you stated, then your wife just has to be a big girl and accept it. I wonder how will your in-laws react, they thought finally we got rid of him and damn now he is back...lol
It could get as crazy as jerry springer, but if you can handle the drama then have at it, you might become the reason the sisters will never see each other again. Thanksgiving and Christmas will become very uncomfortable. Good luck.
Divorced dad needs legal advice regarding visitation requirements?
Ok i share joint custody with my exwife but she is the custodial parent who i pay child support to. I get my son every other weekend.The problem is i need to go away on a work issue and need to switch weekends with her but she has ';plans'; and refuses to help me out. My question is can she ';legally'; make me get my son that weekend? I have asked everyone i know to help me out but no one can watch him and i can't take him with me. The only problem i see is we signed in our custody agreement what days we would be responsible for.Can she still hold me to it?Divorced dad needs legal advice regarding visitation requirements?
She is just being spiteful. No, she cannot force you to take your child in unforeseen situations like this. She also can not use this as a reason to take you to court to take away your visitation. Unexpected situations arise, and she needs to understand that. If she doesn't want to swap weekends, you will lose that time though. If you want to try and keep the peace, explain to her that because of your job there is no way you can watch him and that you cannot find anyone to watch him. Inform her that if she would be willing to search for someone that she trust to watch him, you would be willing to pay the expense. If she doesn't agree, then tough. She will have to change her plans. It is one of the drawbacks of being a parent with custody. She will have to take the good with the bad. Your livelihood depends on your work, her livelihood doesn't depend on her taking a vacation. She needs to recognize this.Divorced dad needs legal advice regarding visitation requirements?
Depends on the state, but normally I would say that you are SOL. My ex switched weekends on me constantly until she finally just refused visitation unless she needed a sitter that weekend. Did she violate the custody agreement and visitation guidelines. Yes. Did the judicial system do anything about it? Hell no. She tried to get an increase in support, did not get it, then tried to claim that I was behind just so that she could get an extra 20 a week for arrearages. Guess what. They did not even check! I got a notice in the mail that I was going to pay another 10 dollars a week and that there would be a lien placed on my property until I was caught up. I had to take a day off of work to go from one room, to another right across the hall to show my payment records to the prosecutor to stop all this. They do nothing about visitation because it is not an issue that gets them re-elected.
In cases like this always check with your attorney or one who speciallizes in custody battles in your state. My opinion is that you did sign what days you would take him. Your only option may be to sign up for a babysitter service and pay through the nose. You don't want a teenager for this you want someone who is certified.
Most day care facilities do not run 24 hours and I dont think a boarding school would take him for the weekend. Check your phonebook for licenced and bonded childcare.
I do wish you well and good job on manning up for your child support and being with your son when you can. As a child of a dad who didn't do his job I do thank you. One day your son will too.
i don't think she can make you, it's what they would class as a reasonable request, tell her to grow up and stop being so awkward, explain to your son, you don't need to justfiy it to her, sounds like she's being selfish and her time out is more important than time with him,tell her you'll have him 2 weekends together
I think it depends on family law in your state. My ex and I have a custody agreement that he fought me hard for in court and won.... yet he never utilizes the agreement. She can't make you do anything. You will just miss a weekend with your son. She's probably just being spiteful.
She is just being spiteful. No, she cannot force you to take your child in unforeseen situations like this. She also can not use this as a reason to take you to court to take away your visitation. Unexpected situations arise, and she needs to understand that. If she doesn't want to swap weekends, you will lose that time though. If you want to try and keep the peace, explain to her that because of your job there is no way you can watch him and that you cannot find anyone to watch him. Inform her that if she would be willing to search for someone that she trust to watch him, you would be willing to pay the expense. If she doesn't agree, then tough. She will have to change her plans. It is one of the drawbacks of being a parent with custody. She will have to take the good with the bad. Your livelihood depends on your work, her livelihood doesn't depend on her taking a vacation. She needs to recognize this.Divorced dad needs legal advice regarding visitation requirements?
Depends on the state, but normally I would say that you are SOL. My ex switched weekends on me constantly until she finally just refused visitation unless she needed a sitter that weekend. Did she violate the custody agreement and visitation guidelines. Yes. Did the judicial system do anything about it? Hell no. She tried to get an increase in support, did not get it, then tried to claim that I was behind just so that she could get an extra 20 a week for arrearages. Guess what. They did not even check! I got a notice in the mail that I was going to pay another 10 dollars a week and that there would be a lien placed on my property until I was caught up. I had to take a day off of work to go from one room, to another right across the hall to show my payment records to the prosecutor to stop all this. They do nothing about visitation because it is not an issue that gets them re-elected.
In cases like this always check with your attorney or one who speciallizes in custody battles in your state. My opinion is that you did sign what days you would take him. Your only option may be to sign up for a babysitter service and pay through the nose. You don't want a teenager for this you want someone who is certified.
Most day care facilities do not run 24 hours and I dont think a boarding school would take him for the weekend. Check your phonebook for licenced and bonded childcare.
I do wish you well and good job on manning up for your child support and being with your son when you can. As a child of a dad who didn't do his job I do thank you. One day your son will too.
i don't think she can make you, it's what they would class as a reasonable request, tell her to grow up and stop being so awkward, explain to your son, you don't need to justfiy it to her, sounds like she's being selfish and her time out is more important than time with him,tell her you'll have him 2 weekends together
I think it depends on family law in your state. My ex and I have a custody agreement that he fought me hard for in court and won.... yet he never utilizes the agreement. She can't make you do anything. You will just miss a weekend with your son. She's probably just being spiteful.
Divorce advice...?
Ok this is my 3rd and last posting...
My wife and I have been having problems off and on for the last couple of years... Alot of it has been mine and my inability to grow up and our failure to communicate. I moved out about 6 weeks ago... We started to date others and we were at a mediation/counseling session yesterday. One hour turned into 3 and it was amazing... We told each other things that neither of us ever heard.
We continued this for another hour after the session and finally decided that we are going to end up stop dating the other people and date each other. Not moving back in and not forcing anything... Baby steps only for now... We are going to see how it goes and be open... no seperate lives and get to know each other. Just want to know your thoughts if this will work.Divorce advice...?
I think you are on the right track. Baby steps. I think you both need to communicate with each other. I am sure she is scared but excited at the same time. I am sure she is curious about the path that you both will be on. Maybe you are learning from each other's mistakes and this time will be a different and hopefully stronger marriage.Divorce advice...?
I think that is awesome, sound like thier is still love between you two. hope it works out and you guys find a better way to communicate in the future, keep going to counseling. Good Luck i hope it works
The key to any good relationship is communication. It sounds like that was severely lacking before this counseling session. You are doing the exact right thing - small steps and talking.
Keep being honest about your feelings and what you want out of this relationship. If you don't say it now, you can't bring it up two, three years down the road. You must be completely honest now and willing to compromise.
If you keep going down that road, there's no reason that this can't work. You married each other for some reason. People change, but that doesn't mean that they can't stay together if they still have common interests and feelings for each other.
Good luck!
It sounds like you are on the road to success. You are doing great.
I think its a wonderful step in the right direction.
Good luck and i hope that you both will be faithful to each other and not sneak around and see the exs (the ones you both are breaking up with). Take it slow and hopefully everything will work out!
I don't know if it'll work in your case. Depending on what the strengths/weaknesses of your marriage were to begin with. All I can say, it's probably too early to tell after only one counseling session. Take your time and see how things go. The agreement to not date other people is a good thing.
reacquanting each other with the person you each married is fullfilling the second time around. You both realize the baggage..
I've been down that same road. It wasn't and isn't easy, but we've both grown because of it.
we were separated and divorced for 2 years. Counseling is one hell of a lot cheaper then divorce.
didn't you's do this when you first met???? you got to know each other now ur at the place where you both don't enjoy what you got to know back then,,,when someone decides to leave you, it is because they don't want you anymore,,,bye means goodbye,,,you both need to accept that and stop trying to force something thru a ';suttle'; way, take ';journeys'; advice,,,,,,here you stand two hearts broken in 2,,,,2,,,,,2. someday love will find you....
Honest communication is always the right answer whether its down the path of separation or reconciliation. I hope it works out for you.
Good for you both. Communication is soo important in a marriage and that is something that most people don;t know about. Couples mostly focus on financial status, career and kids and they tend to neglect communocation, and that is what holds things together.
make it work! Apply everything that you have learn in counseling and break the cycle of bad communication.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and good luck
Counseling works, right?? Just keep going, it really helps. Communication is #1 in a relasionship. Tey your best of there are kids involved. You don't want them to deal with divorce. Belive me you two are not the only onces gettin put through it. Kids are put through it too. You want to try your best to avoid that,...
Have faith that it will work out. Not to force religion on anyone but my lawyer gave me a piece of advice that I failed to take for many years, and that was to turn to a higher power.
Sounds like you're on the right track. Best of luck to you both!!
Good start. But have your really grown up enough to handle this?
Good for you guys. Sounds like taking a time out from marriage, and starting with dating again is a good idea. Counselors often recommend that married people have a date night, anyway, every week. You two married each other for a reason, and that reason probably still exists. Continue to be open and honest, and learn to discuss things that concern you without being accusatory. If you were in a session that long, it was obviously guided, and your concerned were introduced with such words as '; I feel that....'; or ';I get the idea that.....'; rather than ';You are a jerk because....'; Congrats. Best of luck to both of you......
Weight your words carefully before you express a concern. A good book to read is ';The Assertive Option'; --- the classic in getting people to understand your position without offending them. Buy it cheap at Amazon.com. Yours by Thursday at your house.
Good luck. I really mean it.
ya if you take iy slow good luck
You will fall back in love again, and again fall back into the same pattern.I've done this 3 times with my ex wife.What you need is some time away from each other to work on yourselves.If your not happy with yourself,how can you be happy with someone else.Dating after 2months? Don't put your date through that misery.Stay away from dating and work on yourself.
Good for you...you'll never know if it will work if you don't try. Good luck
If this is what you both decided, great. But what ever you do, do not let the silence overwhelm you. Talk, always talk. Be her best friend first, then her lover. Love comes naturally after that. Take it from some whose husband is her best friend.
My wife and I have been having problems off and on for the last couple of years... Alot of it has been mine and my inability to grow up and our failure to communicate. I moved out about 6 weeks ago... We started to date others and we were at a mediation/counseling session yesterday. One hour turned into 3 and it was amazing... We told each other things that neither of us ever heard.
We continued this for another hour after the session and finally decided that we are going to end up stop dating the other people and date each other. Not moving back in and not forcing anything... Baby steps only for now... We are going to see how it goes and be open... no seperate lives and get to know each other. Just want to know your thoughts if this will work.Divorce advice...?
I think you are on the right track. Baby steps. I think you both need to communicate with each other. I am sure she is scared but excited at the same time. I am sure she is curious about the path that you both will be on. Maybe you are learning from each other's mistakes and this time will be a different and hopefully stronger marriage.Divorce advice...?
I think that is awesome, sound like thier is still love between you two. hope it works out and you guys find a better way to communicate in the future, keep going to counseling. Good Luck i hope it works
The key to any good relationship is communication. It sounds like that was severely lacking before this counseling session. You are doing the exact right thing - small steps and talking.
Keep being honest about your feelings and what you want out of this relationship. If you don't say it now, you can't bring it up two, three years down the road. You must be completely honest now and willing to compromise.
If you keep going down that road, there's no reason that this can't work. You married each other for some reason. People change, but that doesn't mean that they can't stay together if they still have common interests and feelings for each other.
Good luck!
It sounds like you are on the road to success. You are doing great.
I think its a wonderful step in the right direction.
Good luck and i hope that you both will be faithful to each other and not sneak around and see the exs (the ones you both are breaking up with). Take it slow and hopefully everything will work out!
I don't know if it'll work in your case. Depending on what the strengths/weaknesses of your marriage were to begin with. All I can say, it's probably too early to tell after only one counseling session. Take your time and see how things go. The agreement to not date other people is a good thing.
reacquanting each other with the person you each married is fullfilling the second time around. You both realize the baggage..
I've been down that same road. It wasn't and isn't easy, but we've both grown because of it.
we were separated and divorced for 2 years. Counseling is one hell of a lot cheaper then divorce.
didn't you's do this when you first met???? you got to know each other now ur at the place where you both don't enjoy what you got to know back then,,,when someone decides to leave you, it is because they don't want you anymore,,,bye means goodbye,,,you both need to accept that and stop trying to force something thru a ';suttle'; way, take ';journeys'; advice,,,,,,here you stand two hearts broken in 2,,,,2,,,,,2. someday love will find you....
Honest communication is always the right answer whether its down the path of separation or reconciliation. I hope it works out for you.
Good for you both. Communication is soo important in a marriage and that is something that most people don;t know about. Couples mostly focus on financial status, career and kids and they tend to neglect communocation, and that is what holds things together.
make it work! Apply everything that you have learn in counseling and break the cycle of bad communication.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and good luck
Counseling works, right?? Just keep going, it really helps. Communication is #1 in a relasionship. Tey your best of there are kids involved. You don't want them to deal with divorce. Belive me you two are not the only onces gettin put through it. Kids are put through it too. You want to try your best to avoid that,...
Have faith that it will work out. Not to force religion on anyone but my lawyer gave me a piece of advice that I failed to take for many years, and that was to turn to a higher power.
Sounds like you're on the right track. Best of luck to you both!!
Good start. But have your really grown up enough to handle this?
Good for you guys. Sounds like taking a time out from marriage, and starting with dating again is a good idea. Counselors often recommend that married people have a date night, anyway, every week. You two married each other for a reason, and that reason probably still exists. Continue to be open and honest, and learn to discuss things that concern you without being accusatory. If you were in a session that long, it was obviously guided, and your concerned were introduced with such words as '; I feel that....'; or ';I get the idea that.....'; rather than ';You are a jerk because....'; Congrats. Best of luck to both of you......
Weight your words carefully before you express a concern. A good book to read is ';The Assertive Option'; --- the classic in getting people to understand your position without offending them. Buy it cheap at Amazon.com. Yours by Thursday at your house.
Good luck. I really mean it.
ya if you take iy slow good luck
You will fall back in love again, and again fall back into the same pattern.I've done this 3 times with my ex wife.What you need is some time away from each other to work on yourselves.If your not happy with yourself,how can you be happy with someone else.Dating after 2months? Don't put your date through that misery.Stay away from dating and work on yourself.
Good for you...you'll never know if it will work if you don't try. Good luck
If this is what you both decided, great. But what ever you do, do not let the silence overwhelm you. Talk, always talk. Be her best friend first, then her lover. Love comes naturally after that. Take it from some whose husband is her best friend.
Divorced dad just back in the ';dating scene'; need advice?
I have JC of 2 girls(4 and 6) that are my world and spend as much time as i can with them(3 or more days a week)I would like to find someone to marry again but my children will allways be #1.So here is my question is it better that i find/pursue someone who has children too or someone who does not?I would like to hear pros and cons for both from people.Divorced dad just back in the ';dating scene'; need advice?
I think it's best to pursue someone you have a connection with, someone who understands your committment to your children, and someone who will treat your children as her own. Whether or not they have children shouldn't include or exclude them from your decision making process.
Someone with children may have a better understanding of your committment to children. If they don't have kids, they should at least want kids. There are pros and cons to both really. It's going to be as much trial an error as it was with your first wife.
I've always wanted kids, and I have dated single fathers before. How I treated the kids was never an issue, it ended because of personal issues between the father and I. I would recommend going on a few dates, or date a few weeks, before introducing your children to the woman. Your girls are going through enough adjusting to the divorce without seeing you parade around a variety of women from one month to the next.Divorced dad just back in the ';dating scene'; need advice?
why don't you just be yourself, and not look for any particular ';kind'; of woman...w/children, w/out kids.....
Your in the ';dating'; scene again, that is for ';company'; of a woman to share yourself, and then your children with.....so don't ';look'; for any particular kind of woman, you may meet a woman who doesn't have kids, doesn't want any, and may like yours enough to develop a long term relationship with you, or a woman with kids and all ya'll get along, etc.....you ';look'; for one certain type, and you could miss out on meeting someone who was looking for the man you are, and you passed her by.......ya' know....
I think it could be either kind of person, one with kids or one without, it just depends on who you meet, i mean, you can have conflicts with either ya know?...if you meet one with kids, her kids may be jelous or she may try to get you to spend more time with them, that's drama, one without kids may not get along with them, or may want you all to herself, many things can happen you just gotta meet the right kind of woman, whomever you date, be honest with them and let them no your situation before hand so they have a heads up about it, see how they feel about it, explain to them your kids are important to you and make sure they understand that.....good luck
It doesn't matter if the person has or doesn't have kids of their own. Here is what I know from experience. Kids do not come first in a relationship. Not they are not a huge factor, but how can they flourish in a disfunctional invironment. Relationship first, the relationship (ie your love and devotion for each other) will make the best environment for the kids you have and will have!You can't fall in love with someone who doesn't love you with your kids and vis versa so that part will work itself out.
ask that
I think it's best to pursue someone you have a connection with, someone who understands your committment to your children, and someone who will treat your children as her own. Whether or not they have children shouldn't include or exclude them from your decision making process.
Someone with children may have a better understanding of your committment to children. If they don't have kids, they should at least want kids. There are pros and cons to both really. It's going to be as much trial an error as it was with your first wife.
I've always wanted kids, and I have dated single fathers before. How I treated the kids was never an issue, it ended because of personal issues between the father and I. I would recommend going on a few dates, or date a few weeks, before introducing your children to the woman. Your girls are going through enough adjusting to the divorce without seeing you parade around a variety of women from one month to the next.Divorced dad just back in the ';dating scene'; need advice?
why don't you just be yourself, and not look for any particular ';kind'; of woman...w/children, w/out kids.....
Your in the ';dating'; scene again, that is for ';company'; of a woman to share yourself, and then your children with.....so don't ';look'; for any particular kind of woman, you may meet a woman who doesn't have kids, doesn't want any, and may like yours enough to develop a long term relationship with you, or a woman with kids and all ya'll get along, etc.....you ';look'; for one certain type, and you could miss out on meeting someone who was looking for the man you are, and you passed her by.......ya' know....
I think it could be either kind of person, one with kids or one without, it just depends on who you meet, i mean, you can have conflicts with either ya know?...if you meet one with kids, her kids may be jelous or she may try to get you to spend more time with them, that's drama, one without kids may not get along with them, or may want you all to herself, many things can happen you just gotta meet the right kind of woman, whomever you date, be honest with them and let them no your situation before hand so they have a heads up about it, see how they feel about it, explain to them your kids are important to you and make sure they understand that.....good luck
It doesn't matter if the person has or doesn't have kids of their own. Here is what I know from experience. Kids do not come first in a relationship. Not they are not a huge factor, but how can they flourish in a disfunctional invironment. Relationship first, the relationship (ie your love and devotion for each other) will make the best environment for the kids you have and will have!You can't fall in love with someone who doesn't love you with your kids and vis versa so that part will work itself out.
ask that
Divorced dad just back in the ';dating scene'; need advice?
I have JC of 2 girls(4 and 6) that are my world and spend as much time as i can with them(3 or more days a week)I would like to find someone to marry again but my children will allways be #1.So here is my question is it better that i find/pursue someone who has children too or someone who does not?I would like to hear pros and cons for both from people.Divorced dad just back in the ';dating scene'; need advice?
Hope you find love again. You will know when you do-regardless if she has children or not it is important that she embrace your children.
Your girls will always be the number one woman in your life. The girl you choose to spend your life with will undoubtedly understand that and respect you for it.Divorced dad just back in the ';dating scene'; need advice?
Find one that loves you and your kids, regardless if she has kids or not.
let your heart tell you .
Why not enjoy your girls NOW, while they're young. Once they hit puberty, they wont be interested in spending time with you. And that time will be here b4 you realize it!
IOW, there's no need to find/pursue anyone. Especially since they are currently #1. And no woman will be able to accept that fact easily.
Find someone who loves.... you ....and she will love your kids eventually.... It doesn't matter if she has kids ....
more
The person that you want to marry is not a matter of whether she has children or not. I dated a woman that's has 2 children, she was great but I couldn't deal with her children all that well. I am divorced and I have joint custody of my son. To me he is the most important part of my life, and her children are hers. I love my son and for some reason I can't get any feeling for her children like that. There is no comparison. I don't want to be there dad, is that bad? I don't know, it's just how I feel. Finding a woman that has no children would be great as long as she doesn't want to have any. I will not have another child, plain and simple. A lot of women that don't have children want to eventually have them. So it's up to you. If I could find a woman that doesn't have children and doesn't want to have any, that would be ideal for me. She would still have to accept my son.
Forget about that aspect. Find a nice woman with whom you can relate. Make sure that they know that you have children and that they come first above all. Most women will truly appreciate this. If they don't brake and run, I would say that you stand a pretty good chance. If they do, then they weren't right for you anyway. Then look further.
You dont seek neither one, does it matter to you wether a woman has or doesnt has kids? I mean if you have a preference like some men like brunettes over blondes than fine, but i would start off just finding someone i like first then date, then after like months or a yr when i knew it was going somewhere then wed introduce our kids or my kids, but i would just start with dating and i wouldnt let women know im looking for a wifey/mommy babys momma type of thing, let it flow and good luck
My girls were 8 and 6 when their dad and I divorced. I always felt it was important to date someone who had kids, because I assumed they would understand better the responsibilities that came along with the territory, and would not have the immature response of feeling slighted or neglected when the kids would and should come first. My girls are now 14 and 16, I am still in the dating circle, but consider it less of a priority to date someone with kids. I think you just need to gauge your response on the person once you find someone interesting and then decide if they are worth pursuing.
Dear Dad,.
You need to consider your children first.
Obviously you are putting yourself in that position.
I feel sorry for you and your children.
I can read right through you.
Hope you find love again. You will know when you do-regardless if she has children or not it is important that she embrace your children.
Your girls will always be the number one woman in your life. The girl you choose to spend your life with will undoubtedly understand that and respect you for it.Divorced dad just back in the ';dating scene'; need advice?
Find one that loves you and your kids, regardless if she has kids or not.
let your heart tell you .
Why not enjoy your girls NOW, while they're young. Once they hit puberty, they wont be interested in spending time with you. And that time will be here b4 you realize it!
IOW, there's no need to find/pursue anyone. Especially since they are currently #1. And no woman will be able to accept that fact easily.
Find someone who loves.... you ....and she will love your kids eventually.... It doesn't matter if she has kids ....
more
The person that you want to marry is not a matter of whether she has children or not. I dated a woman that's has 2 children, she was great but I couldn't deal with her children all that well. I am divorced and I have joint custody of my son. To me he is the most important part of my life, and her children are hers. I love my son and for some reason I can't get any feeling for her children like that. There is no comparison. I don't want to be there dad, is that bad? I don't know, it's just how I feel. Finding a woman that has no children would be great as long as she doesn't want to have any. I will not have another child, plain and simple. A lot of women that don't have children want to eventually have them. So it's up to you. If I could find a woman that doesn't have children and doesn't want to have any, that would be ideal for me. She would still have to accept my son.
Forget about that aspect. Find a nice woman with whom you can relate. Make sure that they know that you have children and that they come first above all. Most women will truly appreciate this. If they don't brake and run, I would say that you stand a pretty good chance. If they do, then they weren't right for you anyway. Then look further.
You dont seek neither one, does it matter to you wether a woman has or doesnt has kids? I mean if you have a preference like some men like brunettes over blondes than fine, but i would start off just finding someone i like first then date, then after like months or a yr when i knew it was going somewhere then wed introduce our kids or my kids, but i would just start with dating and i wouldnt let women know im looking for a wifey/mommy babys momma type of thing, let it flow and good luck
My girls were 8 and 6 when their dad and I divorced. I always felt it was important to date someone who had kids, because I assumed they would understand better the responsibilities that came along with the territory, and would not have the immature response of feeling slighted or neglected when the kids would and should come first. My girls are now 14 and 16, I am still in the dating circle, but consider it less of a priority to date someone with kids. I think you just need to gauge your response on the person once you find someone interesting and then decide if they are worth pursuing.
Dear Dad,.
You need to consider your children first.
Obviously you are putting yourself in that position.
I feel sorry for you and your children.
I can read right through you.
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